No doubt you remember the wonderful portable shrine that was gifted to me recently. Well, let’s just say it’s seen a lot of use lately. It has one major drawback, though. While it is portable – after all it is “The Original Portable Shrine” – it is only so if one were in the habit of carrying a handy trunk with oneself at any one time. Hmph. A deliberate design-fault , intended to curb the recipient’s on-the-go drooling needs? The challenge was raised, the gauntlet was flung – and in the Guylty household, there is only one who can answer with ingenuity and aplomb. The self-styled Queen of Crafts. Vainglorious Moi.
The product of many nights of head-scratching, feverish labour by the sweat of my brow is a prototype that has recently seen the light of day. I present the “Original Pocket Shrine”® – for discreet drooling, wherever you are, whenever you want.
The compact Pocket Shrine® measures 6×4.5 centimetres (2.4×1.8″) in size and comes in durable, light-weight tinplate. The discreet external of the Pocket Shrine® is enhanced with a diamond-studded, character-appropriate design that is classy yet unobtrusive.
The Pocket Shrine® opens up to a 3D-diorama depicting an iconic scene from the drool-deity’s cinematographic oeuvre. Hand-cut details are embellished with crystal highlights. A silver-leaf garland adds the appropriate gravitas and lavishes attention on the laurel-worthy assets of the admired subject. A disco ball is optional.
The protruding lower shelf of the Pocket Shrine® features a visual drooling aid – usually a favourite close-up of the worshipped divinity – bedecked in appropriate adornments in a custom colour scheme.
The Pocket Shrine® comes with two silver-coloured candle holders. These insert in the assigned openings in the bottom shelf. Matching silver candles can be fixed in the holders, allowing for sacrificial and meditative kindling of candle light. When not in use, the candles and holders can be stored inside the Pocket Shrine®.
The Pocket Shrine® is fully customizable according to the client’s individual worshipping needs. It comes in two sizes (“discreet” and “not quite as discreet”) and is uniquely hand-crafted with exclusive gems and embellishments from sustainable sources. Assembling and use of the Pocket Shrine® are intuitive and easy. The Pocket Shrine® fits into any trouser pocket, as well as standard hand-bags and clutches.
Also available with custom gift-wrap, this product is calorie-free, guilt-proof, and no animals have been harmed in the making of it. (However, Guylty Productions can not take any responsibility for accidental loss of ovary function.)
On the occasion of the world-wide launch of the Pocket Shrine®, Guylty Productions offers one lucky reader the rare opportunity to receive a custom-made, one-of-a-kind Pocket Shrine®. Please lavish your praise in the comment section below and remember to mention your desired chaRActer. If no chaRActer is mentioned, the Pocket Shrine® will be designed to the worship of the cReAtor. Winners will exclusively not be chosen by R___ A___ but with the help of a random number generator. Comments close on Friday, 21st of February 2014.
Guylty Pleasure 
someone has been filling their time towards worthwhile pursuits, I see 😛 this little ditty is ingenious, creative and cute as all hell! 😎 my chosen character would be Harry Kennedy, of course, but any RA character would find a more than suitable home in this adorable abode. thank you for making me smile Guylty, I really needed it today 😀
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Here we go – number one is on the list :-D. This smile-inducing implement is a MUST for all occasions, but especially so when life throws excrement at dynamic axisymmetric work-absorbing turbomachinery.
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Well done, Guylty! I absolutely love it! Of course, John Porter is my fave, but I love love love them all. Love the GuyShrine. So creative and, actually a necessity for many occasions! LOL!
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It is indeed. I see a large niche in the market looming. You’re in the draw big time, Marie x
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😀 😀 😀 this is the best thing ever! I can’t get the stupid grin off my face! I love all the detailing too and especially the candle holders. Not sure the glitter ball should be optional though – it really does add that je ne sais quoi… Oh my goodness I would love to have one of these to carry with me and the only difficulty would be choosing the character. I think on balance just RA in one of the recent photoshoots would be best for me… Can’t remember the photographer without doing some sleuthing but the one with the grey boiled wool jacket, the plaid tie and the very naughty look… You know the one I mean I’m sure… 😉
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Hehe, here we already have a difficult customer who has very definite ideas about what should be in the pocket shrine. Duly noted, just in case :-). You’re in, Helen!
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Ooohhh, I just realise I am in desperate need of one of these glorious portable shrines. This really fits my need of discreet worshipping at any given time. But – is there a pokerface coming with it also? I imagine to loose a bit of contenance when opening it. Maybe doesn’t come in handy when being used during a meeting with my bankers or suppliers and would leed to inappropriate questions in respect of popping ovaries.
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The Pocket Shrine® comes with detailed instructions on how to use in most situations. A training program is currently in development to ensure users receive maximum benefit out of this ritual implement without attracting undue attention. Number 4 in the draw!
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And if I may place a wish, is there maybe a CeeBeeBees version of the portable shrine available? *prettyplease – I am willing to negotiate the disco ball.
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oooh, that is an interesting one. I see plush dinosaurs and fake miniature icecream coming up. The challenge would be accepted if it is you!
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Reblogged this on Me + Richard Armitage and commented:
OMG — Hilarious!
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Love this. You are spending your time well.
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My mission is love. My name is Elroy. Everything for the cause.
Note: Rebloggers only get one entry 😛 (I am ribbing you, Serv – just trying to maintain the aura of respectability…)
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If there isn’t a Pocket Shrine® infomercial I shall feel robbed!
It could start with:
*woman packing suitcase ready to go on holiday and tried to stuff full sized shrine in*
Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever tried to fit it between other necessary holiday items and find it simply won’t fit? Then Pocket Shrine® is just the product for you!
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LOL – I really am laughing out loud at your comment here, Agzy. Yes!!! I think I have just the right Art Director at hand for that infomercial. Expensive consultant based in Poland. Not sure if I can afford her.
Darling – you sure you don’t want Thornton mentioned in your comment, just in case *you* are the lucky one?
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Thornton Thornton Thornton Thornton Thornton Thornton *grasps for air* Thornton Thornton Thornton Thornton 😉
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A girl after my own heart….
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Heart- yes. Writing talent? Sadly no 😉
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Eh, I think you proved yourself entirely wrong about that last week, Agzy. I loved your letter from Milton! It only worries me slightly that you found it so easy to write a bitchy character like Miss Bingley 😛
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Let this be a warning to all those who have their eye on John Thornton, master of the mill *adopts demonic voice* he’s Miiiiiine!
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LOL.
*quakes in her thigh-length riding boots, eh, wellies* So glad I am under Sir Guy’s spell, not Thornton’s…
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Ha! Didn’t I know it! Ha! Noted.
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fantastic! hilarious! brilliant! the disco ball is a touch of genius!
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The disco ball is courtesy of an inofficial cooperation between Mr Guylty, creator of the Original Portable Shrine, and Miss Agzy who popularised the inclusion of glitterballs in RAvotionalia… Any specific chaRActer wishes in case of…? 🙂
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Thornton for me, please!!!
Loved the full-blown product description “bedecked in appropriate adornments in a custom color scheme.” Lol. Especially “disco ball is optional.”
This seems very practical, as it really is no use trying to hide one’s true devotion after the initial period of attempted denial. Might as well out with it with a handy, in-your-purse PocketShrine.
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I may have to retract that part of the product description. It looks as if the disco ball is indispensible.
Mr Thornton is noted – who else for Trudy, of course 🙂
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Told you, Guylty 😉
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😀 you did. That glitterball is the coup de grace.
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Oh My Guy! 😀 Fantastic!
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It had to start with Guy, says Guy-Girl Guylty. Sadly, the prototype is not in my possession anymore but was gifted to my secret Valentine last week. But new Guy Shrines can be made. I’ll note your preference, Joanna.
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Thanks 🙂 and if I may add..”not quite as discreet” LOL! ..is my favorite size.
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hehe, yeah, some people just like to make a splash…
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Must have! RARA for me, please! This is absolutely brilliant. My A3 size portrait prints just don’t fit in my handbag. I like the Hassler and Dunn shoots, too, but ooooh, love me some RARA.
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Oh, RARA, yes, I think Guylty Productions might actually have particular fun with a RARA shrine design. Noted and in, Leigh.
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I LOVE this!!! I know a certain ‘Alanna Jorjah’ girl who could use one of these when her life returns to normal…
just sayin’…
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I may have to think of a child-proof lock in that case, Zee, as the BDSM version of the Guy Shrine should under no circumstance fall into the hands of innocent under-age bystanders. Noted!
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maybe you can get some of those tiny little whips Obscura used in her Lupercalia manip.
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I’ll make them myself for the authentic 3D effect!
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Oooooh – I didn’t think of that… maybe a little black fuzzy handcuff lock… or little ball gag…
Flogger tie…. hmmmmmmmmm…
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Hm, looks like I am going to have to do some very enlightening research there….
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anything I can do to help… let me know…:-)
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I await an instructive chapter 21. Should do the trick. Two birds with one stone, actually. I only read for the research.
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Writing is slow… as I have a head full of upper respiratory infection and it’s moving south – NOT good…. and school is back in session and I will be grading projects for the next 2 days. But I am working on it.
As for your last comment – yeah yeah right uh huh shuurrrrre…..
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I have patience.
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Hopefully, it will be well worth the wait.
Might be yet another long, long chapter…
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Well missus, you do know what they say: Size matters. I am ready.
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You are hilarious and that is amazing. 😀
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One aims to please and distract. Do you still believe in Lucas North?
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Lucas North is my man, but we all know how he feels about being confined in small spaces, so somehow it wouldn’t feel right to put him in there. Perhaps Thornton instead, and it would be sort of like a modern take on a cameo locket. 😉
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Well argued and noted!
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Well done, Guylty, what a great post very funny, I love it. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Bravo for your creativity for the Guy shrine. 🙂
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😀 Guy deserves every shrine he can get, the poor, love-deprived soul :-). You’re in.
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Oh yes, poor Sir Guy… Come here honey, he’ll give you a hug. ❤
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Shrine design sublime.
My man is Lucas, tattoos and tuchus.
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North #2. Noted.
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I have been smiling since I started reading this. Thanks for a delightful start to my day.
What a tough choice. My first instinct is Thornton, then of course Harry, Lucas and Porter are delightful but I think topless Guy tops my list. Maybe you could start a business. Then we could all purchase a different RA for our changing moods. Oh goodness, I’ll have to get a larger purse. I’m laughing thinking of going out to lunch with my son and secretly peeking at the Pocket Shrine 🙂
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😀 I had no idea where that list was going, RT… topless Guy. You’re a woman after my own heart *coughs*.
I find that scenario quite amusing – out at lunch. Boring old aunt droning on about something or other. Guy Worshipper takes out pocket shrine and casually peeks in. Her cheeks colour, her heartbeat quickens. A deep breath. She closes the shrine and places it back in her handbag. “What were you saying, Auntie dear?”
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Oh God, I can’t stop laughing, this is brilliant. But I think your commentary is even more brilliant. “Classy yet unobtrusive” is my favourite part. I think it works best with Guy, somehow it seems suited to him.
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I think Guy would be the one who would unreservedly welcome the idea of a shrine dedicated to himself *ggg*. Medieval men *huffs* 😉 So I take it you also would go for a Guy Shrine. Noted.
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Most definitely. And I can also see Guy with bedazzled sleeves to match the case.
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I am so loving this shrine..You made my day,I am still smiling.My fav has to be the beginning John Standring.RA played that part so well.Then of course Guy,Thornton , Porter and Thorin .All of them are my favs.You did such a great job,all could be in the shrine..Love this blog..
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Welcome dededotti 🙂 John Standring is a new one in this list of potential pocket shrines. Noted! And glad I made you smile!!!
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Omg, that’s amazing!! I must say what a creative person you are. The attention to detail is fantastic, and the embellishments add just the right touch. Lol. Will this shrine come equipped with handkerchiefs to wipe the drool off your face. Awesome. I love all the
RA characters.. I would have to say my favorite would be Lucas North. Awwww. And let the drooling begin.
Congrats on a job well done!!
😊😊😊
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That is an exemplary praise comment, Maria, and you have therefore fulfilled the criteria to be part of the draw :-D. Thank you! Lucas North #3 😉
Good suggestion about the handkerchief. I was more thinking along the lines of a bib? Possibly in the shape of a fancy collar, or disguised as a scarf? I think I need to go back to the drawing board for that one.
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Hi Maria – just using this as a last avenue to let you know that you won the give-away of the pocket shrine. Congratulations. I haven’t yet heard from you. Get in touch with me via e-mail until 23 pm GMT today, Sunday, 23 February 2014, please. Otherwise I’ll re-draw 🙂
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Mine vacillates between Thornton and Sir Guy…especially half naked Sir Guy. My I’m really an equal opportunity character worshipper. Here’s my Portable Shrine – http://tinyurl.com/mjhfyao
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LOL – that’s a very handy portable shrine. I have one of those, too.
I am thinking that the pocket shrine could easily be made to worship two divine incarnations… There’s an idea. You’re in!
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But your has that customized charm. Mine relies on the frequent kindness of others. But what is good about that though is that I know I can count on my fandom to be forthcoming and consistently fruitful. 🙂
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Guylorious, Guylamorous, Guyittery! Lucasuxious! Porterable! Oakenshields your hero’s image! Richards beyond your wildest dreams inside! Carry it and be the Rose between 2 Thorins. Okay, I’ll quit. I love it! It is the most beautifulest beautiful shrine I’ve seen. I of course would want Thorin. xoxoxoxox
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Honestly, I did not expect this. Do we need to talk off-site?
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This is magnificent. I love the disco ball addition. 😀 That, and the tiny silver candles, are pure genius. I’ve been trying to think of a chaRActer, or if the Man Himself, and I can’t even. I don’t know. Guy is my go-to-man of the hour right now, but Thorin is So So Beautimous, but nobody beats Portah’s naked torso on that whatever it was he got strapped to, I’m sorry but *pants*… and Standring!!
… Could one request, perhaps, a… sort of a… potpourri? Or perhaps a potpourRA? Maybe a beautiful Guy face in the bottom half with Portah’s torso photo in the top (I mean, you know, his head in there too, lol)? Or the Thorin smile (melting Majesty) with a photo of smiling Beardy Richard?
Dare one ask for such Richie richness? Would the world implode? Because I might. ❤ ❤ ❤ Anyhow, this is genius. Thank you for giving so many of us a smile.
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A potpourRA – I love it. And sure, that is a challenge I can’t resist. Might possibly demand the “not quite so discreet”-size shrine. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Thanks for your comment and – you’re in! x
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I am really pleased the disco ball made it into the pocket version as that was a particular favourite feature of the original for me.
I’m torn between a long list of chaRActers but I’ve narrowed it down to Thornton or Porter. I think Porter is my favourite but I wouldn’t like to see him being crucified in that sweet little box. No BDSM for me…
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Ok, the disco ball is a must then. I may have to perfect its attachment to the shrine. *memo to engineering dept*. And there is plenty of non-crucified Porter that would fit this shrine. Noted!
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This pocket shrine is a wonderful idea! I appreciate easy-to-use products. You never know when you need an instant fix 🙂 It’s very difficult to choose a fav chaRActer. If I choose one, let it be Lucas. If the shrine is designed to the worship of the cReAtor, then a RARA would be perfect for me.
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Instant fix, haha. Yes. Lucas and RARA are equally good, I agree. Noted.
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Brilliant!!! Simply adorable Guylty and quite crafty!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
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🙂 Counts as “lavish praise”. You’re in. Any preferences?
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Yay me! Much to Agzy’s chagrin I would have to say that Mr Thorton makes my heart soar…. 😉
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Ah, Thorny… Don’t mind Miss Bingley 😉
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oh my word , need this need this really really need this , …you clever girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if I won I would like candid pics of RA …um …also got to have ,, Porter ..no …Guy …no….Thorin…AAAAAHHHHHH you naughty girl making us choose …!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…WANT IT ..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love to you … big smile on my face now even after a shitty day ..! THANKYOU
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I know, choice is a bummer. I suppose a polytheistic approach is possible, too. 😀 Noted.
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BRILLIANT!!! Are you prepared to mass produce? 😀
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There is already a stock of at least five tin boxes in my extensive warehouse. 🙂 Offers accepted 😀
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Porter?
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Yes, we wants one, Preciouss! 🙂 This is brilliant! Any Armitage character is fine with me, though my favorites would be Lucas North and John Thornton.
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Precious indeed – how fitting, just finished watching LOTR part 1 tonight. Lucas Thornton it is then. Noted!
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Now I’d seen the original shrine and thought it quite beautiful and perfect but this, well this just sets the bar so much higher. It is awesome, totally awesome and amazingly beautiful. Oh I think every RA fan (well-wisher) should have one. How could we not have this to carry along with us wherever we go. Think of the many ways and times it would come in handy. Feeling low, bad Monday, bad week, at the doctor’s or dentist…pull out the pocket shrine and lift those spirits and put that smile on your face again. My favorite has to be John Porter though it is hard because I do love John Thornton as well. Thank you so much Guylty for such a beautiful idea.
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Haha! I like to hear that – *I* have bettered my hubs’s ingenious shrine?! Nailed it!!!! 😉 Yep, this pocket shrine would come in handy in so many situations. The weirdest thing is: I haven’t even made one for myself yet… But I’ll note Porter for you, should Lady Luck choose you, Peggy 🙂
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How can I choose just one chaRActer? I’ve fallen for each of them in turn – except one. From bad biker boy Ricky Deeming to stately Charles Swann. Thorin, Thornton, Guy, the Johns, and everyone in between – Steve, Lee, Ian, Percy, and the Philips. I even moan for Monet. Just not William. Guess a random number generator would have to be used, because I cannot choose.
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😀 I can make the decision for you, if you’d like… You’re in, anyway, and we’ll see what happens!
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Oh my goodness I forgot Ricky… How could I… Gulp.
I suppose the shrine is too small to add a little sound mechanism? Just think if the characters could give us a snippet of their honey tones! Ricky’s accent, Guy saying “punish you? Why would I punish you? What have you been doing?” John Thornton saying “look back at me”… The possibilities are endless. Sigh.
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Haha, this is becoming quite elaborate now. Back into the laboratory to experiment, I think 🙂
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I think you may have just discovered a new career for yourself, Guylty… Bespoke portable shrine artist… 🙂
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Do you think that would pay? How many RA fans are out there? I need a business plann!!!
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This is brilliant Guylty, I love it! I wouldn’t know where to start as to what chaRActer I’d choose..hmmm, Harry, Lucas or Porter? Then again, the disco ball is very appropriate for Mr “Snake Hips” Armitage himself. 😉
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Good point re. snake hips and disco balls. (Why am I thinking of RA dressed like Travolta in SNF, doing *that* move now… arrrrrrrrgh) Noted and in 😀
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Guylty, you are kidding!!!! 96 comments by the time I arrive here…………..
What is there to ad in praising and eulogising?? I can’t even take my time to read all the comments b/c until I’m done I’m at the back of 100!! Holy Moly… There is only one subject to add, I NEED this precious silvery thingy with my favourite Herzbube (who the heck?? JP, JT, or Guy??, I mean is there a need to decide right away??) MOST urgently otherwise one never knows.. Drooling is vital for life!!
PS. Next time you come we need to go to this huge, huge creativmarkt at Karlsplatz…
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Well, Linda, now you know why I needed to buy those disco ball beads when I was in Munich… I think D___ dropped that hint, didn’t she? I nearly kicked her *haha*. Anyhow, your comment, whether it is #96 or not, counts as an entry! And no – strictly speaking there is no need to decide right away 🙂
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Mmmmhhh, but sometimes I can’t put one and one together and think of Portable Pocket Admiration Shrines when D mentiones a disco ball….. 😀 silly me!!
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Swooney Thornton all the way for me!!! And sweet John Standring! And sexy Guy. And, and…. Omg, I LOOOOOOVE this thing. I want one. I neeeeeeed one. Fast forward to fantasy of getting hit by a bus and paramedics are going through my bag looking for identification. They find my portable shrine and wonder, “Is it some kind of medic alert?” Yes, it is! Get Richard Armitage whose wonderfulness fixes all problems!!!
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LOL – another reason to always carry a Pocket Shrine on you. Direct line to RA 😀 Might induce palpitations, though. You’re in, Besotted.
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I think you may need to investigate mass-production of these little beauties, Guylty. One will not be enough! I have to say that I like the Guy of Gisborne version. Although Harry Kennedy would also work…..
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😀 I think they will all be single pieces even if I happen to make more Guy Shrines. As unique as the fan who carries it. Harry Kennedy has not been mentioned yet. Must have a think what a shrine to Harry incorporates (apart from the obligatory disco ball)… But your suggestions are noted and you’re in 🙂
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So after nine months of lurking, the Pocket Shrine made the oxytocin kick in and I’m due. It had to be that damn disco ball calling out to me….or to out me. Either way, my fav personal pocket protector HJK is perfect material for a personal Pocket Shrine. Now I can’t get this image out of my head….Harry shaking it under the disco ball, wearing the striped jumper……and the tightest of jeans, natch. Thanks.
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All lurkers, all latinsnakehips welcome in the bosom of my bosoms :-D. So glad this made you de-lurk! So, another vote for dear Harry. It’s noted, should the generator fall on you. Ouch. Tight jeans a must, of course. Thank YOU for commenting! x
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Oh wise and prophetic random number generator! Harry being the chaRActer most like Richard, he is the appropriate image for the idolatry. (Or should I say adultery?)
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Harry’s getting all the late votes it seems. 🙂 the random number generator notes this. Good point, actually!
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I could kick myself in the *** for missing that hilarious post…
If you`ll ever start your Guylty Productions business and Harry Jasper Kennedy is not available you could hire me, I´m a very good accountant. Your debts would not be a kiss just a Lucas North Shrine 🙂
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I might have to draw on your expertise when I get that mass production going, Ute! And I can already see a very profitable bartering business coming up…
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I absolutely love this. I’m a collector of pocket shrines from the world religions… can’t think of a more pleasing addition to the mix, except maybe a shrine for my own Object of Worship 😉
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Thanks for your comment, Linnet! You collect pocket shrines? That means there *are* pocket shrines? What kind? What do they look like?
And stay tuned – I have finished two more shrines and am in the process of making shrine number 4, all soon to be shown here :-)!
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Oh yes, pocket shrines are used often in Roman Catholicism, but also in Hinduism and Buddhism. Interestingly, the Mexican ones look a lot like yours! Sometimes they are a little case or wallet that opens up with pictures and a medal, and sometimes they are a little case with a tiny statue inside. I should do a post on mine. They’re so cute! But if you search “pocket shrine” on Ebay, you’ll see some examples.
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Pirate Guy. Pirate Guy. Pirate Guy….
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