DeRAnged Part 3: “De-RA’ed but Be-Muse’d” – A Reaction to Seeing RA Act

The DeRAnged series is getting extended as I go along. Sorry. After the run-up/Servetus meet and the second review, I now find it necessary to put my personal reaction to seeing the play and Mr A into a separate post.  It’s a slightly unusual move for me because so far this blog has been mostly about substantial (as in “objective” or “based on fact”) criticism in the shape of film/play reviews and photo analyses, my or others’ fandom activities or commentary on current news, and less about the psychological insights into my own interpretation of the man as a person. Not that I am keeping those secret – but so far they have been mostly limited to comments on other bloggers’ posts (and to BTS e-mailing and messaging). I suppose I never felt those merited discussion and publication. (No implied criticism for those of you who extensively write about yourself in relation to Mr A. This is probably only my Northern proddy modesty coming out…)

My first experience at the SD at the beginning of August was already a first disclosure of my emotional, personal reactions to the man. As was the whole Berlin saga last December. It seems as if RL encounters with the man cause shifts in perception of him. No wonder, of course there is a difference between observing a performance of RA through the filter of a screen, and actually being there, in the same space, at the same time, as him. I had an inkling of that in Berlin. But it did not hit me until I saw the play a second time – possibly also due to some of the news speculations that had been trickling out in between my first and second viewings of the play and which I had worked hard to ignore.

I mainly attribute it to having a front row experience of the play that I came to a new attitude towards the man, and to the fact that I had already had the first viewing behind me and therefore the disbelief at seeing RA act *live* in front of me  was no longer distracting from or obscuring the play and the performance. Also, talking with Servetus about the play and his performance helped me find a different way of looking at him. Essentially I realized that one of his most attractive characteristics is his single-minded pursuit of his art. Wow, that is a late conclusion, you might think. Well, of course I have known that all along. But I confess it was overlaid with the appreciation of the outward attractiveness of the man until now. When I was sitting in the theatre, I witnessed the act of creation with my own eyes. I have snapshot millisecond images in my mind’s eye: RA crouching over the water bowl, Proctor frail and vulnerable. RA sobbing at the table, Proctor realizing his guilt. RA roaring at the judges, Proctor implicated. RA shaking in Proctor’s tattered prison gear, Proctor conflicted between the choice of living or of giving up his good name. These were highly emotional scenes, and pivotal in the course of the play, and despite being 100% absorbed in the play, I nonetheless I consciously realized that I was observing the act of creation in real-time.

I can’t even tell you how that was signified. There was no blinking sign over his head with a pointy arrow saying “artist in creative process” or a different pose or poise in him. But I felt a notable charge of energy in the room, or maybe there was something like an invisible aura that I perceived. I saw his concentrated transformation of skill and talent into the actual performance, the transformation of an actor into a character. And that blew me away, literally made me gasp. It was like that transcendental moment in the analog photographic process after exposing your photographic paper with the image: you are dousing it in developer, and in the developer bath the image gradually appears on the white page, ghost-like at first, and then gets darker and darker until it is fully there. It only takes a few short moments, but it is breath-taking, goosebump-inducing every time. You see the work of art take shape in front of your eyes. I felt touched to the point of tearfulness, and privileged, to witness RA in this act on stage .

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I wouldn’t call it an epiphany, but I finally understood what a “muse” is. And in that context I can see his own self as detached from his creative persona. I can take that as an inspiration to write about him as a model in a photograph, or as a character in a ficlet, and I can appreciate the characters that he creates so powerfully, and still allow *them* to thrill me sexually and transform that into a shrining drool moment. It felt a bit as if the crush was over – something that I had been subconsciously struggling against for months – but something else has emerged. Possibly more respect than I had before, also because he has successively become more and more real to me due to observing him in RL. (Tip for all fans who want to hold on to their own version of RA – never go see him live *ggg*! Total ballbreaker.) So RA has been changed from the superficial object of my fangirling to a muse. I have been “de-RA’ed” and instead been “be-muse’d”, so to speak.

But seeing this creative animal engaged in the act of creation was unbelievably inspirational. I came out of the play thinking that I envied his ability to create in such a way, and to subsequently touch others with his talent and skill. I understood that I want that for myself – to create something that will touch others, substantially, not fleetingly. I want to make others cry or laugh or think or react to a message that I am sending with my creative work. And not for the glory but for the ultimate connection between creator and consumer of art.

This realization has implications for my own activities as a fan. It has validated my (again subconscious) move away from writing only for me (and him, implied) to writing for me and the fandom. Ultimately the latter is more gratifying, anyway, as there is two-way communication in it, whereas the former was a cul-de-sac with no hope for or expectation of response. As a creative I need the feedback, and the feedback has to come from someone who is my audience, and therefore has clout with me. Relieving him of the burden of validation feels liberating. I no longer have a secret wish for receiving recognition from him (a frustrating desire that was always doomed), nor do I feel obliged to validate and recognize *him*. In the creative cycle he sits at the centre, but the cycle itself works without his participation and relies on my own skill, talent, motivation and application of ideas.

There is a tiny bit of regret, I must admit. It’s never easy to let go of opinions and dreams, or even break up with the *idea* of somebody or something. Maybe some of his characters will continue to populate my fantasies, I actually hope so. He’s created them to appeal to me, and by reacting to them I am actually validating his talent. I can be in love with his talent and art, and that is ultimately more useful for me than loving his self. Physical attraction is superficial and wanes, or tastes change over time, and the eye gets attracted by new visual experiences. It’s the filling of the void that lasts longer, indefinitely, possibly. No doubt my attitude will change as I change, as I experience new things, as I learn more about myself and as I continue to observe Mr A. (And without jumping ahead – some of the reactions described here already received new impulses the week after experiencing them, when I went to London a third time…)

84 thoughts on “DeRAnged Part 3: “De-RA’ed but Be-Muse’d” – A Reaction to Seeing RA Act

  1. Didn’t happen to me when seeing RA (since I wasn’t so deep into it), but I felt the same way a few years ago after meeting Viggo Mortensen (who is super nice and shared his box of chocolates, chatting with me LOL). Somehow afterwards I felt saner, more open, like suddenly there were more possibilities, and I started writing and painting and sharing my art. Somehow my stunned admiration changed into something else, more lively and productive, and more “me”. It felt like emancipation, in the best way possible. Ugh, now I’m not sure any more if that was really what you were talking about or if it’s just me 😀 LOL forgive me! xoxo I still want to hug you.

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    • No, I think “emancipation” is exactly the right term, next to “inspiration”. As I said, I felt liberated. The way you describe it is very apt – more possibilities, more “me”, more lively and productive. I think I felt a call to action. I have always been creative, ever since a young child, but I suppose I have never felt that what I do has the possibility of touching others. I don’t think I really had ever shared my heartblood. And suddenly that urge erupted when I observed RA in the act of creation because it was so close and so visceral and somehow almost tangible.
      I want to hug you too, missus. We must coordinate my next trip to the Fazerland, now that I know you come from a place I frequently go to myself…

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  2. who are you and what have you done with Guylty? I kid 😉 I know it was probably difficult for you to write about yourself and your feelings this way, so I not only applaud you for that but thank you too, b/c I enjoyed reading it 😎 but just to clarify: so you’ve moved past the “crush” of the man, and moved into a respect for the actor/artist? so that you now feel inspired by him, want to emulate him in a way, for the passion that he puts into his art and the give/take he seems to receive from it?

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    • Yeah, that was the predominant feeling that day. (That already implies that things have not been static… the shift is somehow not over yet, it seems… damn that man!) Although I feel absolutely no inclination to becoming a PR person for him (unless he pays me *ggg*), or to applaud all of his artistic and personal choices. He has not become a better man just because I have felt inspired by his performance. And I am not going to give up enjoying him as eyecandy *ggg*. But I think I am taking him seriously now.

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      • I don’t think you are late to the party at all. His high calorie eye candy is very much a part of who he is and how he uses his creative process. There were other men on the stage him, and they certainly don’t have legions of fans devoted to them, but they are very talented actors as well. I think moving beyond the crush stage to use him as creative inspiration is a positive development. Anything that makes us more creative and alive to possibilities is a force for good, IMO.I NEVER would have thought to go to London to see a play without the spark plug of Richarding urging me on. If I hadn’t had my husband with me, I would have tried to go more than once, because I was too rapt to analyze how anything, (play or the stage door} affected me. I think the “unintended consequence” of the crush and blog is that you found your real interaction with other fans is more rewarding than imagining scenarios with him. 🙂 At least for now. I hope I am not misinterpreting what you expressed eloquently I think crushing on his characters is a great idea, only I would pick ones that didn’t die, and that doesn’t leave a lot to work with.

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        • You know, Kathy, I (almost) had guilty feelings for reacting only to him when there were a good few other very worthy actors on stage, some of whom impressed me more, but where the creative inspiration was not as visible as with RA. I hope this is a positive development indeed although I feel a certain reluctance – more to do with self-doubt than with the letting go of fantasy. And yes, maybe Richarding was just the starting point. I just need to zone in on the “epiphany” more.
          At this point I don’t even know where I want to take this in the future. Especially because I know that the reaction as I described it here has not lasted unscathed 😀

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          • (I wrote a whole long thing & it closed out by mistake grr)
            I am mad about this post & will have to read the whole thing again sometime soon. I think it’s natural for such an intense epiphany-type experience to change after “coming down from the mountain” so to speak, and trying to integrate with RL. It will remain a turning point for you, I think…. fascinating too that you and Serv both experienced this as such a creative surge. I feel a new type of regret for not being able to see this live, but there’s a season for everything, and I think mine is another direction just now. Interesting how it’s more energizing to experience creativity in another field than one’s own, or at least I feel that way. I’m inspired by other musicians, but more energized by those gifted in fields I don’t as fully understand…. maybe it’s objectivity vs. magic! or something. Anyway, I just ❤ this.

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            • I think you are raising a very interesting point there, S, re. “how it’s more energizing to experience creativity in another field than one’s own”. I would agree with that – in that I feel more inspired by works of art and artists at work in anything but photography. Music triggers a lot of it for me, as does stagework. Anywhere really where I can see an artist at work *live* and where that doesn’t compare to what *I* do creatively. Because that might be too close to the bone, or I would come out of the comparison even more unfavourably than anyway 😀
              In any case, I think it is always a privilege to see a creative at work. There is more than creative inspiration in it, I think, so it’s not really limited to fellow artists.

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              • I was curious if you would also feel that was true re: the different field… I think the desire to create is such a strong human characteristic and drive, just amazing to observe something superlative in real time. Thanks again for great thoughts.

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  3. Meine Güte, das hat ja gedauert …! *duck* 😀
    SCNR

    Es ist schon faszinierend, was einem plötzlich den letzten Stups zu einer Veränderung gibt, nicht? Wie ein Erdbeben: Es grummelt und knirscht lange Zeit leise vor sich hin, und dann kommt der plötzliche Ruck, die Perspektive ändert sich, und dann folgen noch ein paar Nachbeben, während derer man sich noch ein bisschen sortieren muss, bevor schließlich Ruhe einkehrt.

    Gratuliere. 😉

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  4. “To create s.th.that will touch others” Also einen Teil hast du auf jeden Fall bei mir bisher vollumfänglich erreicht: (Achtung Lob folgt, Ausstieg JETZT noch möglich) Ich breche tatsächlich immer wieder beim Lesen deiner Ergüsse in unkontrolliertes Gelächter aus. Das ist besser als jede Seelenmassage 🙂 Zum Heulen hast du mich glaube ich noch nicht gebracht, zum Nachdenken durchaus. Ich finde die von dir beschriebene Entwicklung in deiner Beziehung als Fan zu RA sehr schlüssig und kann das bei mir auch feststellen. Als Fan durchläuft man wahrscheinlich diverse Stadien der Betrachtung. Für mich war auch entscheidend, ihn mal als Person agieren zu sehen (Bühne) und als RL-Existenz (SD), neben der ständigen Leinwandpräsenz, die doch eher abstrakt ist. (Drücke ich mich klar aus?) Somit komplettiert sich das Gesamtkunstwerk. Und es fällt mir leichter, ihn als jemand zu sehen, der mich mit der Darstellung seiner Charaktere fasziniert und nicht als Kerl, der dringend bei mir einziehen sollte (also, wenn er will, okeeeee). Ich finde, Leinwandidole kann man anhimmeln. Wenn das RL -Erlebnis dazukommt, bekommt das viel mehr Qualität in der aktiven Bewunderung 😀

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    • Na, da hat das Künstlergejammer (“Ich will, dass ihr mich alle liiiiiebt”) ja mal wieder die erwünschten Früchte getragen. 😀 So sind wir – needy, weak creatures, die gehätschelt und gepflegt werden müssen, die der bedingungslosen Liebe und Anbetung ihres Publikums immer wieder versichert werden müssen. Höchst suspekt und narzisstisch.
      Ja, ich glaube schon, dass es verschiedene Stadien der Künstleranbetung gibt. Eigentlich dachte ich ja, dass ich schon alles durch hätte. Man ist ja schließlich kein Anfänger mehr, nech. Und nun dieser esoterische Scheiß. Echt ey. Da ist mir ein simples Sabberverhältnis doch eigentlich lieber. Nur dass der Herr mir mit seinem eigenmächtigen Agieren mir immer wieder einen Strich durch diese einfache Richtung macht. Blödmann.
      Übrigens – das mit der Humorreaktion habe ich bei deinen Kommentaren aber auch regelmäßig. Insofern ist das die idealtypische gegenseitige Befruchtung im humanistischen Sinne.
      “Qualität in der aktiven Bewunderung” – naja. Wenigstens hat man damit das äußerlich wirksame Deckmäntelchen der künstlerischen Inspiration umgelegt…

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  5. Danke auch für die Blumen ❤ Dann mal schön weiter mit der humor/-äh humanistischen Befruchtung. 😀
    Deckmäntelchen der künstlerischen Inspiration: meine Güte, hau mir doch bitte meine Illusionen nicht kaputt. Habe mich gerade mit meinem Dasein als höchst deRAngiert abgefunden (und meinen Frieden gemacht) und dann wieder der Schlag mit dem Vollpfosten via Dublin.

    War dann gerade doch erschrocken, wieviel Text ich abgesondert habe. Aber dachte, ich sollte mal zeigen, dass ich zu mehr als nur zu 2-3-Wortsätzen in der Lage bin 😉 Aber wo genau liegt die Grenze zum nervtötenden Schwadronieren? Schwierich, schwierich die Balance zu halten.

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    • Nö, kein Textlimit. Nur wenns Überhand nimmt, dann weißte, dass du ein eigenes Blog aufmachen musst *ggg*.
      Egal wie deRAngiert ich bin, die Selbstironie wird wohl immer bleiben. Allein schon, um mir selbst zu versichern, dass ich immer noch des Denkens fähig und nicht ausschließlich Eierstock-gesteuert bin 😀

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      • Ach das ist dann der Anfang vom eigenen Blog, wenn der Textplatz in den Kommentaren nicht mehr ausreicht? War das bei dir so?
        Keine Sorge, keine Bloggefahr von mir. Wage mich nur im relativ geschützten Bereich der Kommentare nach vorne. Ausserdem geht das ja relativ unbemerkt von den englischen Ladies, da auf deutsch,weisste. Da tobt es sich recht unbeobachtet. 🙂
        Thema Selbstironie: das Allheilmittel schlechthin. Ohne wäre mir das Ganze hier nicht möglich. Dann wäre ich schon in der Klapse oder auf der Psychocouch.
        Ich finde zwar, dass bauchgesteuert feiner klingt, aber Eierstock-gesteuert ist dann doch erheblich präzieser beschrieben. Immer das Kind schön beim Namen nennen 😀

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        • Nee, du, mir liegt das Bloggen schon seit Jahren im Blut – ich glaube, das hier ist jetzt Blog Nummer neun oder so, nach zwei Daily Life Blogs, zwei Reiseblogs, zwei Fotoblogs und zwei Bastelblogs (die meisten davon übrigens gegen Bezahlung – geil, wenn der Mitteilungsdrang auch noch entlohnt wird… ich warte ja noch, dass mir das Armitag’sche Management diesbezüglich ernstgemeinte Angebote macht.)
          Selbstironie ist in der Tat ein Allheilmittel. Damit kann ich sogar in der realen Welt über meine Armitage-Obsession sprechen.
          Bauchgesteuert – schwanzgesteuert. Ich weiß auch nicht so recht, was da die feminine Variante ist…

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          • Na, das ist ja eine stattliche Blog-Vergangenheit. Ich merke, dass da jahrelang was an mir vorbeigegangen ist. Aber ich lerne dazu :-). Reiseblogerfahrung mache ich gerade mit meiner Tochter. Ist wirklich fein.
            Und ob Bauch-, Eierstock- oder Schwanz-gesteuert ist vollkommen irrelevant: entscheidend ist, dass es unterhalb der Gürtellinie stattfindet und somit recht weit vom Kopf entfernt ist. Schliesslich wollen wir ja nicht nur auf unseren Intellekt reduziert werden, gelle?! Das stellt dann die “ganzheitliche” Erregung sicher. 😀

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            • Prioritäten, Prioritäten. Solange genügend Schmuddel dabei ist, ist alles fein. (Wie gut, dass wir hier fremdsprachlich Narrenfreiheit haben. Da kann man dann wenigstens mal Klartext sprechen, ohne dass der Feind mithört *köderausleg*)

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              • Ich glaube, da passiert nix. Hauptsache, wir verschrecken das Trüppchen der handverlesenen Deutschsprecher hier nicht!
                Gib’s zu, du hast nur auf jemanden wie mich gewartet, der’s dir auf deutsch besorgt (arghhhhhh, haarscharf am guten Geschmack vorbei, oder!). Wortspiele sind Klasse!!!!!!
                An alle die mich verstehen: bin nur vorlaut und nicht halb so anzüglich wie es sich liest 😀

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                • Ja – genau das brauche ich in meinem fremdsprachigen Liebesexil – ein bisschen muttersprachlichen Wortwitz. Vor allem, da in meinem Hause extrem viel auf Englisch mit Sprache gewitzelt wird. Da bin ich ja immer leicht im Nachteil. Das lebe ich mit dir dagegen schamlos aus 🙂 Muddi muss ja auch ein Hobby haben, nech…

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                  • Muddis united im Kampf gegen sprachliche Verödung unter besonderer Berücksichtigung der “ganzheitlichen” Erregungskomponente im allgemeinen und vor allem im RA-speziellen Kontext. Dürfte alles soweit drinnen sein, meinste nicht auch?

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                    • Auf jeden Fall! Vielleicht gelingt es uns, auch noch ein paar EU-Fördergelder zu generieren 🙂
                      Aber das geht natürlich nur, wenn wir nicht nachweispflichtig sind. Wir wollen doch nicht die Bürohengste in Brüssel unnötig scheu machen 😀

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                    • Vielleicht sollten wir es doch lieber hier im gemütlichen (?) Rahmen belassen und ungehemmt unsere Triebe zur ganzheitlichen Erregung ausleben nach dem Motto: “Kopf und Bauch, das will ich auch” oder aber “Bauch und Brain, das muss s(a)ein” 😉

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                    • LOL – das ist genau das. Man muss eben beides haben. Und vielleicht sollten wir nicht analysieren, sondern einfach nur kompromisslos genießen. Packen wirs an.

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  6. This was interesting to read because I wondered how you would process the conversation we had on Wednesday morning, which was significant to me as well in figuring out a future direction. I felt like my life had been changed by what I saw Tuesday night, and I was thinking that I must have seemed distracted to you while we were walking to the coffee shop because I was listening to everything you said but I was so much under the spell of the previous evening, still, and I thought or felt that I wasn’t entirely in the same place with you as regards what you were saying but I couldn’t have told you what my differences were, exactly — I was still too dazed. I know I was very preoccupied with the whole question of what is essential vs what is noise and how do I distinguish. I’m going to write about Wednesday next but in retrospect so some things are clearer to me now than they were then. I don’t feel like my crush is so much over as decisively altered in numerous ways.

    I feel like the decisive themes in your post are (a) creativity; (b) creation / process; (c) both of those vs. “reality” / identity / who is Armitage? and (d) audience / who’s it for?

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    • I think we were both still processing on Wednesday morning, and as such I did not really expect any significant insights from either you or me. The truth is that I am constantly processing, really. I was that day, I was after the conversation, I was after seeing the play a third time and I am now, after writing about some of this. It never ends really – is it an end in itself, maybe?
      Thanks for your summary at the bottom there – yes, that’s what the whole reaction boiled down to: After watching the act of creation I was inspired in regards to my own creativity. What is not quite clear yet is how this inspiration relates to being a fan. The audience issue is quite clear in my mind – I create for my own audience, not for the “inspire-rer” (RA).

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      • I don’t know that I was ever writing to / for him, so that wasn’t really a shift for me — but the “how to be a fan” thing is really important. We write for ourselves and fellow fans, but what are we writing, specifically, and what do we do with the reactions? That weighs on my mind a lot now.

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        • Yes – rationally thinking we write for ourselves, our fellow fans. But are we/our fellow fans really the only addressees? Or do we calculate the remote possibility of someone else reading it, and self-censor what we write? I often enough do, tbh.
          Re the reactions – do you mean our own reactions or the reactions of fellow fans as expressed in their comments?

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          • I’ve never self-censored what I wrote about Armitage b/c I was worried about what Armitage would think if he read it; I have definitely self-censored what I wrote about him because of my fear of the reactions of fellow fans. As jazzy would say, I’m not in community with Richard Armitage but I am in community with you. To me, that’s the rub here. I feel ever more creative (and who, after this week!) but I have an audience that partially can’t or won’t go with me and parts of which do their damnedest to keep me from going there, either. I’ve grown a thicker skin over the years and probably need to grow a thicker skin yet.

            Re: reactions, I mean reactions that anyone who reacts to something I write makes, whatever they are.

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  7. I don’t create anything, yet I am a fan of RA. What does that mean? I’m sorry I love you Guylty, but I’m not getting this. :(( What is the struggle? What is “the news speculations that had been trickling out in between my first and second viewings of the play and which I had worked hard to ignore.”? Sorry I’m not part of the in-crowd? Don’t know what you mean.

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    • Hm. I didn’t mean to imply that everyone has to have some sort of creative epiphany when looking at RA performing. That was *my* reaction, and it relates to my situation. There is no hierarchy in consuming art. My reaction is in no way better or more worthy than anybody else’s just because I can take some tangible creative inspiration from it. It’s just different.
      “The struggle” relates to my ever-changing perception of RA as a private person, as himself. I guess I am trying to find a way of distancing myself from my rollercoaster attitude towards him. I am building some sort of (pretentious, yeah) superstructure to transform my reactions from creatively fangirling to fandom-influenced creativity. What am I first and foremost – am I a fan who is creative or am I a creative who happens to be a fan? What is more worth-while for *me*? What has more benefits for *me*?
      Anyway, don’t worry – my resolve/reaction didn’t last long in its initial form. Rollercoaster Richard has a way of putting spokes in my wheel. 😀

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      • I’m so sorry. I don’t really think you meant to imply we should all feel the same way. I’m just struggling myself to understand it all!! We have different ways. Your reaction in no way needs to be the same as mine. We are all struggling, I guess! Richard is himself – creative self and personal self. As a person I appreciate his talent in expressing himself creatively, but then there is his physical presence as a man. I appreciate both. Yay!

        What I’m trying to say, is that I am not a creative person, so I don’t feel the need to relate to him in that way. Believe me, he doesn’t help me figure out how to solve labor relations problems in my real life! LOL! So I can care about him and feel impacted by him and yet not feel any “creative” link to him. If that helps you at all? It’s not a necessary component to appreciation of his talent and person? Am I way off??

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        • No, I guess you are right there – in general. There is no prescribed way of reacting to him (or anything else, for that matter). Creatively inspired or not – of course he can be appreciated as an actor and a human being. Damn, I guess I made it sound as if I am chucking in the drooling and swooning or the laughing and the aww-ing. Fat chance. Yer man is still witty-lovely, and the hottest piece of male ass *ggg*. But I like to think that I can get some other satisfaction from my one-sided engagement, too.
          In any case, after I had sorted it all in my head in the noble “creative inspiration” pidgeon hole, the muse appeared as himself at the conversation event… there went my resolutions…

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  8. Wonderful post Guylty, Although I haven’t seen the play my respect for the man’s skills as a ‘creator’ have changed quite markedly, I can see clearly, maybe for the first time how focused and dedicated he truly is in regard to his craft and what he wants an audience to ‘see’ when giving that performance. (I did see this dedication first through The Hobbit DVD extras which made me take notice) I had not looked that deeply before (and I don’t think TV programs give an opportunity to see much more) and that has come about mainly through reading yours and others thoughts and experiences of seeing him in real life and for that I thank you. xx.

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  9. Beautiful post. I just can imagine the incredible experience of being there. Although we all will be able to see it (BTW Digital Theatre will finish my already exhausted credit card) I’m sure it is not the same

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  10. This is lovely. I identify with what you’ve written here. In my experience, the Muse part came immediately. But after I met Himself, things changed. It is as you say–being confronted with the Real Person helps you get things in perspective. You can’t maintain the Crush forever (though they do pop up now and again, thank heavens, those shining drool moments). Instead there emerges something more interesting and sustaining.

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  11. Ich habe mich gerade durch Deine 3 part´s gearbeitet (war bis heute Mittag unterwegs) und möchte nur kurz sagen, Hochachtung, das waren super posts, v.a. dieser hier. Ich habe auch für mich schon festgestellt, dass sich das fangirlen im Laufe der Zeit verändert, v.a. nach TC aber Du hast es in die richtigen Worte gefasst,auch wenn er bei mir nicht gerade eine Muse oder nur mittelbar eine Inspiration ist. Aber bei vielen von uns hat sich offensichtlich im Laufe der Zeit etwas verändert und dass Du so ausführlich darüber geschrieben hast hat dies deutlich gemacht, ich finde das sehr beeindruckend, Danke!

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    • Oh, danke, liebe Suzy 🙂 Weißt du, eigentlich ist diese Nabelschau gar nicht so mein Ding. Ich sehe das ähnlich wie RA – “wo ist der Bus?” Aber dieses war nun ein Erlebnis, das mich dann doch ein bisschen aus der Fassung gebracht hatte, und das fand ich dann notierenswert. Jedenfalls bin ich froh, wenn du und andere Leser sich darin irgendwie wiederfinden können. Ob nun tatsächlich inspiriert in der Umsetzung kreativer Impulse, oder ob einfach nur beeindruckt von ihm als Vorbild in Sachen Arbeitsmoral – das passt irgendwie für alle. Und man kann sich ja auch alles schön hindrehen…
      Warnung – wenn ich dann allerdings zum Beitrag über die Podiumsdiskussion mit RA komme, könnte sich das Blatt noch einmal wenden. Ich sach ja, ich fahre auf der Armitage Achterbahn und auf dem Richard Rollercoaster 😀

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      • Ja, ich glaube durch TC hat sich bei vielen von uns etwas verändert…… das war eine völlig neue Kategorie und qualitativ auf einem ganz anderen Niveau.
        Solange Du beim Achterbahn und Rollercoaster fahren Spaß hast ist doch alles in Ordnung oder? Du musst Dich nur irgendwo (auch immer) mit einem positiven Gefühl wiederfinden können 😉
        wenn ich das irgendwann nicht mehr habe höre ich auf mit dem Blogschreiben.
        Und jetzt bin ich auf die “Podiumsdiskussion” natürlich richtig gespant!

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  12. Pingback: Richard Armitage intoxication: Wednesday, August 27th | Me + Richard Armitage

  13. I am late at reading posts here, had a cold this week. Thank you for writing this post, I have read it a couple times.

    I have always in a way felt left out as everyone has talked about Richard being their muse. He has never been for me, Richard is very handsome, a great actor and very easy to look at for me. I think I felt more left out not because he was not a muse for me but what was it like to have a muse. Over the years I know that how I see Richard has changed but I still think he is handsome and a great actor remain the same.

    This past winter I found out what it is like to have a muse. It took a collage writing class to find him or him to find me. I had to write a short story for the class but using one of the pictures the teacher gave us to use, I believe there where ten of them. I found the one I thought I would be able to write a story on then set to work thinking about it. This persons work helped me write this story from their art. It become so easy to write as I used their piece of work as a guide to help me form the story. I did get a good grade on it but as far I remember only the teacher and I have read the work, I don’t think I had anyone else even proof read it for me. I just felt that good about the writing.

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Pingback: deRAnged Part 7: Stage Door Survived | GUYLTY PLEASURE

  15. Pingback: RA Pocket Shrine 42/? – Vive la Révolution | GUYLTY PLEASURE

  16. Pingback: Tuesday – Muse-Day? | Guylty Pleasure

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