RA Pocket Shrine 43/? – RAPS Inc. introduces the new On Track RAPS Premiere-Series Pocket Shrine

/ September 29, 2014

Exploring the New Territories of All-Analogue Richarding

RAPS Inc. introduces the new On Track RAPS Premiere-Series Pocket Shrine

September 29, 2014, Dublin – RAPS Inc. a leading provider of personal shrining solutions and Richarding services for enterprise and private customers, today announced its latest On-Track RAPS for personal use. The release marks a new era of all analogue Richarding solutions. The all-new Premiere-Series products are the most recent innovations by RAPS Inc., optimized to meet the growing drooling demand of private users. While continuing to provide a perfect user experience for customers in areas including ogling, thudding, eye candy service, and major life-event processing, the Premiere-Series Shrines also further explore new frontiers for RAPS Inc. down the road of yet unchartered chaRActer depiction.

With changes in industry, the requirements of private users for Richarding are continuously diversifying. This is especially true when considering the exceptional chaRActer variety made possible by digital technologies as well as the benefits to their users. But users often have to make a compromise between price and performance. The all-new Premiere Series analogue shrines adequately solve this dilemma for users. These new products enable wider chaRActer coverage and clearer drooling capabilities for users via their eye-heart compatibility, thus increasing effectivity and reducing distraction.

Starting off today RAPS Inc. Presents the all new On Track RAPS with the following features:

  • Simpler design, Better performance. Easy operation and clear outside design have been the most prominent requirements for private drool facilitators during actual use. RAPS On Track can exactly meet these requirements. Its world-class sleek outside design ensures clearer and more reliable camouflage, providing guarantees for exceptional adaptation to the handbag or pocket environment. The pre-set outside design permits fast and flexible detection within the confines of dark handbags, reaching out to the users in a discreet way.

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  • Increased efficiency without increased costs. Powered by the Time Bending Multiple Access (TBMA) analogue technology, the On Track RAPS doubles the number of drooling opportunities without the time commitment of switching on TV or PC and its associated infrastructure, while also providing twice the Richarding capacity. The outstanding performance-price ratio of these products can suitably meet the needs of private users, for keeping a balance between performance and price.

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  • Customized for hotel rooms, work-stations and event venues. As products designed for users in multiple sectors, from guest rooms to work place to event venues, the On Track RAPS can effectively reduce background noise through analogue gaze connection technology and provide analogue eye communication and thought transmission within any environment in the entire coverage area. Easy to carry and operate, the Premiere-Series RAPS enables users’ Richarding whenever they want to, provides droolers to quickly re-boost their joy levels from inside guest rooms, private homes or at the work place, facilitates support with better efficiency, and enables users to respond to any emergency as soon as possible.

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  • Efficiently Accessorized The model incorporates a 2-pin accessory connector to allow for easy extension to analogue light solutions. Customers can continue to use the current accessories such as candles and incense sticks already bought to protect their investment.

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The Premiere Series RAPS comes with a 3D diorama and a full bottom Richarding base and can be set up within seconds. It is mainly designed for users who need to drool on the go and have more discreet Richarding needs within public environments. It can also be used to meet mobile Richarding needs within domestic environments where discretion is tantamount.

Guylty Pleasure, chairman and president of RAPS Inc. says, “Since entering the market, RAPS Inc. has been dedicated to providing tailor-made Richarding solutions to address the actual needs of our customers and help them achieve differentiated joy release. The Premiere Series RAPS’ analogue gaze communication system has won the trust of millions of users with its excellent drooling quality and outstanding performance. RAPS Inc. is committed to driving changes in Richarding technology for organizations and personal users alike. Going forward, RAPS Inc. will further enrich the product lines, to meet their customers’ drooling needs at critical moments.”

About RAPS Inc.

RAPS Inc. is a leading provider of mission-critical personal shrining solutions and Richarding services for enterprise and private customers. Through leading-edge innovation and Richarding technology, it is a global leader that enables its customers to be their happiest in the moments that matter.

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134 thoughts on “RA Pocket Shrine 43/? – RAPS Inc. introduces the new On Track RAPS Premiere-Series Pocket Shrine”

  3. You are a marketing genius. It is quite lovely and a technological, artistic and drool inducing marvel. I am in awe (more than ususal since you inspire awe quite often) of your creativity and humor. A Shrine for the ages. Or is it all ages? Well, anyway, it is awesome and so are you.

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    • 😀 Can you tell I had a previous life in marketing? Looks like I was thoroughly brainwashed. All that marketing speak is just so funny when taken out of context. Sometimes I really wonder where they come up with these phrases. And why my brain holds on to them.
      And yes, definitely a shrine for all ages 😉 Alec appeals to all.

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  4. Danke für den herzlichen Lachanfall heute Morgen, willst Du in die breite Vermarktung einsteigen? Welche Auflage hast Du geplant und welchen Preis? 3D, mit allem Zubehör, großartig! Aber ein Bild fehlt oder ist die Vorder=Rückseite?
    Auch wenn der Doctor nicht gerade meines ist, tolle Umsetzung!

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    • Bin ja bereits weltführend im Bereich Personal Shrining Solutions, da läuft das Marketing ganz von alleine :-D. Auflage wie immer einmalig. Preis – unbezahlbar.
      Und ich entnehme deinem Hinweis auf dem “fehlenden Bild”, dass du nur unzureichend mit dem RAPS Konzept bekannt bist, Suzy *tuttuttut*! Aus logistischen Gründen ist die Rückseite der Dosen immer die Vorderseite – sonst klappt das mit dem Diorama, das ja die Hauptsache beim RAPS ist, nicht. Also ist Vorderseite = Rückseite.
      Und der Doctor hatte leider nicht genügend Gelegenheit, sich persönlich vorzustellen. Der war ein bisschen zu sehr mit seiner Arbeit verheiratet und blieb als ChaRAkter deswegen zweidimensional. Aber ansonsten würde ich einen Halbgott in weiß eigentlich immer nehmen…

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      • In meiner grenzenlosen Naivität und Unwissenheit bin ich davon ausgegangen, dass wenn “vorne” ein Bild drauf ist wie bspw. bei Nr. 29, dass nicht unbedingt auch unten ein Bild ist…..
        Bei diesem hier sieht es aus als ob Du die Unterseite darstellst, da die Seitenwand die man sieht, die höhere ist und so suchte ich nach der Oberseite – aber jetzt bin ich schlauer und weiß für alle Ewigkeit Bescheid,danke!
        Die Doktorserie ist bisher an mir vorbeigegangen,wie so einiges….

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  5. Laughing my head off. It instantly reminded me of the IKEA Bookbook. 😉
    Does RAPS Inc. have many enterprise customers? If you’re free to disclose that information, of course.
    As for the shrine – omg hothothot!!

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    • IKEA bookbook was wonderful. I love it when companies know how to make fun of themselves – and their competitors. IKEA’s marketing dept is pretty cool, I must say.
      Re. RAPS Inc’s enterprise customers – classified information. (My spies tell me, though, that RAPS Inc. is lying. It only has a customer base of personal users…)
      And whoa, yes, Dr Track was one hot doc *coughs* 😀

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  6. Einen besseren Start in die Woche kann´s gar nicht geben, Bauchmuskeltraining für heute schon erledigt 🙂
    Dr. Track hätte hier in letzter Zeit ne Menge Hausbesuche zu erledigen gehabt.
    Falls das Financial and Accounting department innerhalb RAPS Inc. noch nicht besetzt ist, weißt du ja Bescheid 🙂

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    • Oh Ute, Dr Track müsste ganz dringend mal zu dir kommen, ich weiß. Ich hoffe, dir geht es einigermaßen. Bist du eigentlich krank geschrieben?
      Sollte das mit den Enterprise Kunden mal was werden, brauche ich auf jeden Fall einen CFO. Dann werde ich dich headhunten!

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  7. OMG, that’s just hilarious! And I love all the preamble (yes, reminds me of my marketing/PR days too – just ridiculous!) and the fact that we have to wade through it before getting even a peek inside… Talk about building anticipation 😉

    Now then Guylty I do think you’ve been naughty giving our fine, upstanding Dr Track not only a flower in his hair, but also a large diamond stud earring…! And where on earth did you find a mini stethoscope? 😀

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    • The whole marketing spiel is such utter BS. Really, sometimes when I look back on the utter waffle I have produced for press releases, I get sweaty with all the hot air… 😀 And yes – building anticipation is very important *ggg*
      Hehe, no way of pulling a rug over Helen’s eagle eyes. Yes, I love taking the mickey – even out of such worthy chaRActers as the good doctor. The flowers are just too ridiculous. And the little diamond ear stud is extra mean. 😀 I know, I am horrible…

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  8. PS I may be missing the significance of the sheep’s wool (is that what it is?) and it has the unfortunate effect of making it look as if he now has white frizzy hair in the lid shot (new technical term) 😉

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    • LOL sheeps wool. No!!! Cotton wool. Occasionally used in medical environments? Possibly also a little allusion to what we call “demi-god in white” in German – the medical doctor as a deity… Plus, it was actually a little nod to the recipient of the shrine, Ladysableh, who sent me some of that stuff…

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          • Sir Guy’s harddrive failed while I was at school. I all but have Manna 37 finished, when I shut down to take over ISS and it has refused to boot up.

            Thankfully, I had backed up Manna last night on a whim, but everything I wrote on 37 today – and it was almost finished – is gone. I’m trying to recover it, but it’s not moving. The light turns on, but the disc isn’t spinning. It’s a year old – considering the problems I had with the ASUS, I shouldn’t be surprised.

            I’ll try to hook it up to my dad’s computer tonight when everyone goes to bed and maybe it will boot there. When i’ve had boot problems in the past, I’ve gotten them to boot up on his and then I”m able to rescue stuff. 15 pages gone. Very sad.

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            • OMG – that is about the most discouraging thing that can ever happen to a writer. I felt similar this morning when half of my marketing BS for the RAPS vanished before I had backed it up. Good luck with your dad’s PC. I hope you get 37 back. xx

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              • At least I backed it up – or what I had so far – backed up to my back up external. The thought of rewriting THAT scene (Gen dressed down Fickleass) just kills me.

                The light comes on but the drive isn’t even spinning. Nothing. This is worrisome. The program that can rescue pretty much ANYTHING is saying it’s ‘extremely corrupted’ – that doesn’t bode well,. 😦

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                  • I’ve had harddrives to fail in the past. They are very expensive (thousands of buckies) to extract info from. So there is…

                    1) Using Stellar Phoenix to withdraw the info. I’ve used it before with excellent results. Not this time. It says it’s horrible ‘corrupted’.

                    2) Hooking it up on my dad’s computer. IN the past when things didn’t want to play nice on my laptop, I’ve taken it to Dad’s HP monster and hooked it up. it’s ALWAYS booted up from there and then will boot up from mine afterwards. We’ll try that tonight.

                    if THAT doesn’t work…

                    3) I can take it to Tyger Computers and see if something came loose inside. This is Sir Guy’s harddrive that we put in an external case. There is always the possibility that the wires connecting the harddrive to the case have come loose.

                    and if THAT doesn’t work

                    4) The old Freezer trick. Stick it in the freezer for 24 hours and pray it boots up long enough to extract what I need. as stated the majority of what is on Sir Guy is the Windows info, the drivers, etc. from the Asus. All I really need is the Desktop folders, as well as what I stored on the 2nd drive. I would definitely go for the Story folder first.

                    Just. Meh. I hate rewriting. I’m doing that now. I was hoping to send this completed chapter to you tonight. 😦

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            • OMG you poor soul 😦 i hope the freezer trick worked! fingers and toes x! and now i have to ask, sorry… can we know what you are writing or will we be able to read it??? please? 🙂 or would you care to share past writings or point me in the right direction? :-))))

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              • Well, it wouldn’t boot on my dad’s computer and now it’s doing the sitting thing for a few days. See if that does the trick (I had one that it did work in the past.) I get paid later this week and if it’s still not wanting to work, I’ll take it to the computer store and see if the connectors came lose inside. It was working fine and then – nope. The external lights up and computer pings to tell me it’s plugged up, but the disc isn’t spinning. If they say it’s the disc. I’ll bring it home and put it in the freezer for 24 hours. And pray.

                I write fanfiction – 4 fandoms, but MOSTLY LOTR/Hobbit. Most of my fanfiction is Rohirrim-centered, but as of late I have been enamored of a certain majestic dwarf and his kin (mostly when they were little ones) as well as a very tall, dark, snarky 12th century knight, with many facets worthy of exploring. Most of my stuff can be found at Ao3 under ZeesMuse. (what I lost is the current chapter of my Guy fic – Manna from Heaven – and Guylty will tell you those aren’t little things)

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                • *sniggers* Indeed, nothing is little about Guy. *ahem* Or “Manna”. FYI Hariclea – I have the pleasure of acting as Zee’s “gamma” reader, i.e. I get a third look at Zee’s writing pre-publication. Manna has been going for at least a year at this point, and it is one of the best fanfics within the general RA fandom, imho. Great writing, interesting plot, proper characterisations. Lucky you, Hariclea – you can read the whole thing in one go – well, at least up to chapter 36, which is quite near the (proposed) end. Enjoy. Keep tissues handy. Oh, and NSFW *ggg*

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                  • Yes it is VERY NSFW, has slight BDSM overtones, a definite D/s slant and there is artwork of sorts at Ao3.

                    There are still a few chapters left. At least 5… less than 10 I would think… Right now chapter 38 is setting up to be nothing more than a Weekend in bed with sex and communication at the Marriott chapter. Nothing to forward the plot, just fill in some holes … ahem…

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                    • This fic has a LOT of hot evenings. My fics have sex, but not like this one. Of course, my inner reader demands plot with the porn and righ now I ahave so many threads going on, I have to keep a list and bullets to highlight off so I don’t forget anything.

                      But yeah, when you read it… don’t read it anywhere in public or near children or impressionable pets. You can download it at Ao3 and put it on your nook or kindle or whatever electronic reading device and take it somewhere private.

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                    • Okay, thanks for the warning! Let me see: 1) I will read it alone in my bedroom, 2) Children: my son (12) is always to lazy to read anything, except headlines and 3) no pets in our household, except of dust bunnies 😉

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                • ohh, now i know :-)))) saved to my favourites and on my reading list which is getting ever looooonger! :-)) still crossing fingers that the recovery will work!!! surely IT cannot resist Guy 😉

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                  • My computer place fixed the external. It HAD come loose from the connectors, so they reconnected them and braced it so it won’t shake loose again. Right now, I’m blending my rewrite with what was on the external and I’m hoping to get it to Guylty for pre-betaing in the next 24 hours. I like to think, oh there’s still plenty of story left, but it IS on the backstretch. At the rate that I’m writing right now, it will be completed in the next 6 to 8 weeks. It WILL be the largest completed fic that I have at probably over 350K words. That’s a big fic. (It’s over 300K Now!)

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                    • wowww!! can’t wait to start! so glad you could fix the drive! Gosh i just wish there were more hours in the day! i need to download to my kindle :-)) after all what else are journeys to and from work for 😉 and i bet i’ll be less the grumpy monster in the mornings :-p

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  10. Laughing! “The only doctor that comes with a health warning”! One of the reasons I love these shrines is their decidedly analogue, non-digital status. Sometimes you just need your RA or CH unplugged and acoustic…

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    • That Dr Track is positively dangerous for anyone suffering from heart afflictions *coughs*…
      Yes. Analogue is fun. Is original. Is cult. Can’t be copied. Exists only once. Is real.
      Same applies to lovely RA and CH.

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  12. Text: ROFLOL!!!

    Pics: Aaaaaawe! Oh, the flower in his hair … *gg*

    Speech bubble: Oh, one *has* to follow the doctor’s orders, right? Must be good for him. Ahem, I mean, for me. Argh! For one’s health. Health. Yes. Health. Yes.

    Big No-No: “a leading provider of personal shrining solutions” – not *a*! THE!!! You’re far too modest, Guylty!

    Synopsis: Brilliant – just what the doctor ordered. 😀

    Thanks for the laugh. ❤

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    • 😀 Flower power Track… (ooooh, maybe I need to make a flower power RA at some stage???)
      And dayum – I’d do *anything* this doc suggests… 😀
      Ooops, you are totally right, btw. It should be “*the* leading…” I have slipped in my marketing lingo.

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          • Naja, wir reden von einem Mann, der seinen Bart mit Bacon versteckt hat – viel schlimmer kannst du gar nicht werden … (Beweis mir nicht das Gegenteil!!!! Danke.)

            Außerdem kannst du dich ja auch bei einem Ooof! austoben …
            Kommt da bald wieder wahaaas? *quengel* (Irgendwann musst du deinen Fans Autogramme an der Stage- oder vielleicht auch an der Küchentür geben, das ist dir schon klar, ja?)

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            • Hehe, ich halte mich da eben auch ganz an die Vorgaben von oben… Wie der Herr, so das Gescherr… Aber keine Angst, es soll ja dann doch sexy bleiben, und Gesichtsspeck ist da eher dem Sex Appeal abträglich…
              Yay – da wünscht jemand ein *ooof*. Aber bitte doch, gerne. Ich habe da schon was auf der Pfanne und wollte das diese Woche eigentlich raushauen. Aber nun sind mir die Buttons dazwischen gekommen…
              Haha, Fans, Autogramme… Dann muss ich mir hier mal einen Security Guard engagieren, nicht, dass es noch zu unschönen Zwischenfällen kommt…

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              • Hah! Hier wünscht nicht nur eine ein Ooof! Da bin ich völlig sicher.
                (Ich für meinen Teil hoffe allerdings, dass du nicht erst das andere Dunn-Bild, sondern irgendwas anderes nimmst.)

                Tja, da du leider, leider, leider keine gesitteten Gutwünscher hast, sondern UNS, würde ich vorschlagen, dass du beim britischen Militär suchst. Bestimmt findet sich da ein passender, nicht zu stark angeschlagener Kandidat. 😛

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                • Ah, ok, kein Dunn, sondern was anderes… Ich hatte entweder Dunn auf dem Plan, oder eine Serie, die ich noch gar nicht betrachtet hatte. Hint, hint. Dann weiß ich ja, was ich zuerst machen muss 😀
                  Hm, Capt MacIlwain ist ja leider aus dem Verkehr gezogen. MI5 hat auch nichts zu bieten, und bei MI6 sind die Wunschkandidaten auch bereits ausgeschieden. Alles Mist. Ob man evtl. Herrn Andrews zu einem Career Change bewegen könnte?

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              • Soll das übrigens bedeuten, dass du die Buttons schon erhalten hast? Wenn ja – wie sind sie geworden???????

                Ups, jetzt habe ich erst mal meinen Browser zugeklickt … Das ist vermutlich ein Wink mit dem Zaunpfahl: Ich sollte auch noch was tun. – Ich gucke wohl später noch mal rein. 🙂

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                • Buttons liegen vor. Sind schön geworden. Ich fummle gerade an der weiteren Vorgehensweise rum. Möchte nämlich einen Teil gerne auch selbst verschicken, an meine “Kundenkartei”, komme aber aus Kostengründen wahrscheinlich auf die Angebote, Verteilercenter aufzumachen, zurück… Muss ich jetzt nur noch näher aufdröseln. Kommt morgen per Ankündigung rüber.

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              • Sorry, hab’s gestern nicht mehr geschafft.

                *g* Du hattest bereits ausgeplaudert, was auf deiner Ooof!-Liste steht. Wenn du dich daran hältst und nicht umdisponierst, weiß ich also schon, welche Fotoreihe uns erwartet. 😉 Ich bin aber sowieso immer gespannt, was du zu sagen hast, nicht nur, weil du den Profi-Blick hast, den ich eben nicht habe, sondern einfach, weil’s immer interessant ist, was dir ins Auge fällt, aber von mir vielleicht kaum beachtet würde. Oder auch, was dir ins Auge fällt – und ich bin genauso begeistert von dem Detail. Weiß man voher nie. 🙂

                Was deine Security angeht: Ach, Mennoooooooo! Jetzt liefere ich dir eine Steilvorlage, und du kannst nicht mal den Kram ignorieren, der offensichtlich in einem Paralleluniversum mit bescheuerter Handlung stattgefunden hat … *beleidigt sei* 😀

                Toll, dass die Buttons schon fertig sind. Ich bin jedenfalls immer noch total begeistert, dass du die Dinger echt hast machen lassen. 🙂

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    • Yay – there you are. Glad you like it – and I hope it will satisfy you in RL 😉 Thank you for your side of the bargain. I completely got carried away with the marketing shtick and forgot to show off my gorgeous Sir Guy cushion. I’ll do so in a saprate post.
      Keep enjoying your holiday – Dr Track will be waiting for you when you come back. xx

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  15. I’ve just snorted my lunchtime sandwich all over my work PC!! you evil one! 🙂 and now the two blokes i’m sitting between are wondering why i’m sniggering uncontrollably looking at the keyboard! This is just sooooo good! And how wicked the customers are with the innocent outsides and the naughty inside wishes!

    And i love the ‘man-himself’ being manly enough to take sparkly flowers on his .. hair, studs in his ears and all that and still be hot! 🙂
    This is brrrriliaaaant!!!!!
    You reckon any of these would be ok for open -plan offices?????

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    • Absolutely ok for open-plan offices. Hence the innocent outside *whistles innocently*… Sometimes it is just enough to know that you have got a RAPS in your pocket – so I have been told 😀
      And sorry for your wasted lunch. RAPS Inc does not take liability 😀

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  17. “The Premiere Series RAPS’ analogue gaze communication system has won the trust of millions of users with its excellent drooling quality and outstanding performance.”
    Ich veneige mein Haupt in Ehrfurcht! Diese Selbstbewusstsein ist galaktisch.Ganz groß, Ms.G.,
    du alte Werbenudel 🙂 Ach könnte ich diese Texte doch so fix ohne dieses Dict.cc erfassen. Das würde meinem Vergnügen die Krone aufsetzen.

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  18. Ah, this one is really gorgeous (love Dr. Track) and so *therapeutic*! Well done!

    And your marketing spiel is just as fantastic! I’m an editor in marketing (mostly medical/pharma marketing), so all of this sounded vaguely familiar…except your writing is more clever and fun. I’d much rather spend my day editing this stuff and approving RAPS content. 🙂

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    • LOL – sorry, Susie, I hope I haven’t been too disparaging of the marketing sector :-D. I sold my soul to the devil myself, a while ago, and am occasionally still working in the field…
      But yeah, marketing RA in any shape or form would be rather fun. I’d even do it without pay 😀

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