OK you win. 😀 Vox populis has spoken. I don’t think I have ever received so many e-mails and comments urging me to give the *ooof* treatment to a particular photo. Tbh, my first reaction was the same.
@Hariclea dafuqqqqqqqqqqq!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s that? Where does that come from???????? emergency *ooof*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
— Guylty Pleasure (@GuyltyPleasure) October 16, 2014
This is an emergency response – and therefore quick and cursory. And an extra, too, because I usually do not do amateur photos. Sorry, not being condescending here, but considerate: It’s simply not fair to analyse a snapshot with professional standards at the back of my mind. Plus, amateur photography is not as deliberately taken as pro shots, so much of what comes across technically may only be fluke. So my rule is “pro work only”. But well, what are rules made for but to be broken. I bow to the wishes of my readers. 😀
So, today I am not taking the detour through my trusty notebook for the composition of this *ooof*, but I am typing straight in. However, I feel emotionally raw here, my personal reaction to the tweets and selfie is contradictory. From the initial “whoa” to a huffy “dafuq” in less than ten seconds. The picture itself is nice – an unusually good selfie, which I will discuss in a mo – but the tweeting of a selfie leaves me insulted. I mean, is Armitage branching into photography now? Back off, Armitage, photography is *my* area of expertise! I can’t stand competition from my own ranks. Then the manipulative character of the whole thing – a week and a half of grainy, underexposed Armitage teasers from the set of Sleepwalker, and all of a sudden a beauty shot. Ugh. I am disgusted with my own gullibility. I need a fag. In times of stress and emotional extremes it is so hard to withstand the lure of drugs – I just can’t *ooof* this thing without the soothing sizzle of my Pepsi Max by my side.
This is the bone of contention image in question:
A classic selfie. Armitage poses for his own camera phone. And he does it well Guylty grudgingly concedes. In a portrait format frame, he has captured a head and shoulders view of himself. With his head at an angle in the upper right corner of the image, Armitage manages a very pleasing composition for an impromptu self-portrait. With the bottom half of the image mostly taken up by the dark expanse of his Varvatos “threads”, his face provides the focal point of the picture. In the top left corner, the busy background battles for our attention. The distracting background is typical for a selfie – taken on the spur of the moment, the selfie-taker rarely concentrates on the background when checking himself in the live view before releasing the shutter. Let’s face it: We only concentrate on ourselves in selfies and all other images we are contained in, vainly making sure we look good. Are the eyes open? Is the angle flattering to the facial bone structure? Is the double chin hidden? Check – check – check – click.
So Armitage has managed to compose a pleasing self-portrait with a composition that provides negative space in the form of the black coat in the bottom half, and splashes of colour in the top half. The image, although marred by the visible background on the top left, still maintains an interesting tension between the negative space and the area of interest. Some of that is due to the diagonal tilt of Armitage’s head. Not only does this give a dynamic feel to the image – we are led to think that he is leaning forward, not quite static, but subtly moving – but the angle of the head in the composition also works in contradiction to our normal world view where gravity rules and by default human faces are characterized by horizontal and vertical lines, i.e. the line of the eyes and the line of the nose. The tilted head upsets this normal – boring – representation of a human face. The pose adds tension and interest to the image.
But who am I kidding. It is neither composition nor pose that has ovaries exploding far and wide. It is the sitter contained in the image himself, and Armitage has captured himself with a nice facial expression that would work equally devastatingly well if he had held his pretty head straight. It’s the sparkling eyes and the demurely closed mouth, and the semblance of an amused smile under the slightly ironically cocked left eyebrow that speak to us. It directly appeals to our imagination. What was he thinking when he took this picture? What was the motivation for a selfie like this? Is he smiling at us in friendliness or in irony? Where was he? What happened before and after he took the shot? Did somebody observe him? Was he aware of that? What did it make him feel like?
I almost prefer not to go that way and concentrate on the technical aspects instead. Otherwise it just gets too close to the bone, I am afraid. Unfortunately Twitter strips all meta data from images that are uploaded onto the service. However, it is clear to me that Armitage did not merely release the shutter and uploaded the pic. No. Mr Vanity actually gave himself the image a little make-over. He put it through an editing app. There are several indicators. The main clue is the interesting depth of field that has been added to the image. Shallow depth of field – or in laymen’s terms: the blur in front or behind a sharply pictured subject in an image – does not occur in iPhone imagery because the iPhone lacks manual aperture control. The camera of the iPhone 5, for instance, although pretty capable and drawing on 8 mega pixels, only shoots with one aperture setting. At f 2.4 it is actually really small (which on a regular camera would cause *really* shallow dof), however, it works with a small camera sensor and therefore has the opposite effect. Everything in the frame stays in focus.
Assuming that Armitage is still using an iPhone (he certainly used one while he was filming TH – he was captured in PJ’s vlog taking pictures with his iPhone on location, and the rule of thumb is “once an Apple user, always an Apple user”…), he must have done some sort of work-around to get the interesting effect his selfie displays: Note how everything in the image is out of focus except for the area around his left eye. (Caveat – even his left eye is not completely sharp, either, but let’s put that down to either camera shake or generally lower quality of sharpness that a camera phone can produce.) The iPhone’s own editing tool does not provide blur capabilities, but apps such as Instagram or Snapseed do. However – it’s an extra step added to the quick and impromptu process of selfie-taking. Methinks, Mr Armitage suffers from vanity 😉 But well, it is all for the sake of producing a pleasing image. The use of the blur tool really adds to the image and enhances it. By blurring out the coat and the backdrop, Armitage draws the attention to his eye. And boy, yes, don’t we all like to get lost in the depth of those windows to the soul???
The focal point is his left eye, so, and it is not just the sharpness centring on the eye that enhances the picture but also the blue of the iris that makes the image pop. To me that suggests that another filter may have been used – iPhone pics are usually not that good on small colour pops, and neither does skin colour translate as pinky-browny as in this image. Here, even the simple iPhone editor would add that kind of colour compensation with a tap on the “Chrome” filter… But really – that much work for a simple selfie? Well, let’s interpret it this way: Mr Armitage, ever keen on pleasing his fans, is doing all he can to produce a picture worth seeing by his devoted well-wishers. How nice of him. (Better not tell him that we generally seem to like everything he does and produces, anyway…) I look forward to further improvements.
“Seriously, Elliott”, the man grumbled at his director, shaking his head in exasperation, “I’ve been getting complaints here on Twitter about the quality of your Twitter pictures of me.” He pointed at the iPhone in his hand. “It’s all very well that we have to keep teasing the public about your film, but this is getting annoying. I have 45k followers, you know.” Another notification flashed over the screen of his iPhone while he was speaking. “There! Speak of the devil.” He sighed. His director was unmoved. “That’s the game, Richard”, he said. “But hey, feel free to do your own thing”, the director shrugged. Richard was not so sure about that after an initial disaster with an unintended centerfold image that had launched his Twitter career months ago.
The two men were having lunch during a pause on a day-time shoot. The director busied himself with his food again, taking a hearty bite off the healthy sandwich. “Really, this just won’t do”, Richard mumbled. “I’m known for looking after my fans. I better give ’em something before my phone explodes.” iPhone in hand Richard got up from the table. “See ya on set in ten”, he said and ambled off. He was going to put an end to this. “Give ’em what they want. I’ll do a quick selfie. That’ll shut them up”, he thought. “Sure, it’s only gonna take a minute.”
He opened the iPhone while absent-mindedly walking to a quiet corner of the catering area sheltered by cheerfully glowing drinks dispensers that created a U-shaped area. No crew members and colleagues to be seen. Good opportunity to get it over and done with. He turned his back to the drinks machines and pointed the iPhone at himself. Click. “Shit. Forgot to switch the camera around.” He impatiently tapped on the screen and held the camera phone away from himself again. Click. A blurry picture of his bearded mug appeared on the screen. “What the…”, he swore. This was harder than anticipated. Honestly, he had never given photography much thought. Apart from shooting with his favourite photographer, shoots were always a bit of a chore. “You would think I’d have a clue after observing photographers prancing around me for ten years”, he shook his head at his cluelessness. “How does this selfie business work?”
He stretched out his arm with the camera once again. Click. Half-closed eyes. He looked like a somnambulist. “How fitting”, he grimaced. Delete. “Ok, eyes open now”, he stared unblinkingly at the little eye of the camera phone. Cl… “Hi Richard – doing some experimenting?” …ick. Damn, the passing crew member had made him turn his head just as he was releasing the shutter. Delete. Camera back in position, chin up, smile. Click. Too arrogant a look, he wanted to come across as the people’s heart-throb, not a dickhead. Delete. He tried more, dissatisfied with the results. Blurry, fat. And more. Closed eyes, overexposed, cut off head. And more. One-handed release, two-handed release. No joy. “I need help.”
He closed the camera app and opened the browser of his phone. “HOW TO TAKE SELFIE” he typed into the search box. A list of links appeared on the screen. He tapped on the first. “Now… Number 1 – rule of thirds. Don’t place your face in the centre of the image. Number 2 – Choose a flattering angle. Number 3 – Don’t put shoulders parallel to camera. Number 4 – Jut out jaw to avoid double chin…”, he scoffed. “No problem there, mate”, he smugly thought. “Beard covers blub. Number 5 – crop close to your head. Number 6 – Stand near a light source.” This went on and on…
Perusing the tips Richard was unaware of the group of colleagues that had gathered in the canteen. “Shit, nearly ten minutes gone”, he thought. “Must get back to the set. Let’s put it into practice then.” He held the phone out again and looked at himself in the live view. Head in upper left corner. Shoulders hunched left, head tilted, chin out, light source covered. Click. He impatiently opened the photo view to check the result. A smile lit up his knitted brows. “Yes”, he hissed under his breath, “this will do”. He nearly dropped the phone when spontaneous applause erupted around him. “Well done Richard.” “Your new profile picture?” “Say, that took really long, didn’t it?” “A Vanity project?” “Can we see it, too?” The crew was having a field day with his selfie antics. “All in the name of fan-star-relations”, he grinned. One out of 50. He’d have to work on his hit rate.
THANK YOU!!!!!!
Off to ‘work’
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😀 Enjoy, if you still can.
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yes I did!!!
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Whoa, that’s a first! You’ve been ooofed, Mr. A., not just as a subject but as a photographer, joining the fine company of Ascroft & the gang. That’s something to put on your CV. 😉
As for the pic, my reaction is (still) mostly a stream of profanities and best left unpublished…
/I giggled at the extra effort to produce a power selfie… 😉 /
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You know, Richardiana – I really shuddered at the thought of putting that selfie in the illustrious company of Ascroft, Dunn and Co. It’s only for the love of fellow fans *ggg*
Yes, I was swearing, too. Literally the first thing that came into my head. And out of my keyboard on Twitter. And that makes me really annoyed with myself. I just hate to be surprised in such a way. 😀
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Hehe. Keep calm and Armitage! /yeah, right!/
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LOL. “Keep calm and die”, more like…
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Drowning in blue…
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Ha. He’s enhanced that. Cheat.
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Yeah, cause we wouldn’t be drowning in the unenhanced version..? Lol, just admit it…
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*coughs* Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll…
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Poor guy *giggle* But like my grandma always said: ‘Es ist noch kein Meister vom Himmel gefallen!’ 😉
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Nee, er hat das prima gemacht, der Lütte. I doubt it took him that long. He clicked and bingo. I am more surprised by the use of image enhancing apps. I didn’t put him down as a non-photographer. But well, geeks will be geeks 😀
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The app thingy also really surprised me, but he used that nearly perfect too I think 😀
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Very surprising. More for the time commitment than the actual using of it. Well, he ever surprises.
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Jup, he is like a lucky bag (in a good way) – you never know what’s next 😀
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That’s how I like it. Keeps the whole thing interesting. Anything else would be far too predictable. Keep it up, Mr Armitage.
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I think he will, little teaser that he is ❤
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Little????? Big AND fat teaser!!!!!
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cRAmerry, you can’t call the man fat!!! *lol*
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Yeah, Mr. Vanitage, the fattest teaser in town 😎
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*lol*
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Ouch. Das ist hier heute aber auch ein reines Hate-Fest, kombiniert mit meiner ätzenden Kritik an der Motivation für die Selfie-Attacke 😀 Sind wir beide gerade menstruell bedingt auf Krawall gebürstet, cRAmerry?
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Ganz schlimm das. Befinde mich gerade in einem hormonellen Ausnahmezustand. 🙂
Aber trotzdem schön, wenn man nochwas spürt 😀
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Ich hab das regelmäßig, alle 30 Tage. Da bin ich dann irgendwie total aggressive. Muss mal nachzählen – meine damalige Blogschließ-Aktion war vermutlich auch post-menstruell bedingt. (Ich muss Armitage mal meinen Menstruationskalender übermitteln, damit der seine Aktionen besser timet. Nervt irgendwie, ständig auf ihn sauer zu sein.)
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Klingt nach einem richtigen Scheisszyklus, wenn das immer zu spontanen Trennungen führt 😉 Ich bin da glaube ich eher unempfindlich (menstruell halt -was besprechen wir hier eigentlich????) , habe aber so andere Schwachpunkte, die mich dünnhäutig machen. Deshalb kann ich das nicht so abzählen. Aber charmante Idee, ihn unsere Zyklen mitzuteilen, dann muss er gefälligst ständig parat sein und sich gut benehmen (der Sack der -sagte ich heute schonmal wo, oder?-)
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Me too Herba …. interesting because he didn’t do any touchup w/the selfie in NY while doing ADR, right, Guylty?
Perhaps the thought was- “OMG I don’t want any complaints about THIS being blurry or a “bad picture” – or something?
Am I being too generous? 🙂
I just love all that you were able to observe and explain to us, G, as I find it so, so interesting…..
hoping this somehow made you LESS stressed by the end rather than more 🙂 🙂
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I suppose there are several explanations: Growing experience, awareness of fan reactions, own vanity, simply having more time at his disposal… We will never know. (Although I seriously doubt that he really had his fans in mind. Sorry if I am bursting any bubbles. To me this looks more like a) personal vanity and b) fun with gadgetry.)
I had to abruptly go to bed last night because I am bad with too much noise. I will happily chew over the same stuff for hours with the manageable number of commenters on-blog, but when there are too many voices, I lose track 😀
By this morning I was unstressed.
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That’s what I figured- Twitter turned into a mess right about then, as we know 🙂
You are probably right – I too am naive about certain things, I suppose 🙂
But that’s OK, this is all about entertainment to me! hugs
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Your last sentence is what I am trying to get back to now 😀
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Maybe he disliked the selfie from NY and made some effort to get a better result this time? 😉
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Maybe 🙂 who knows re: the mysterious yet juvenile-humored Mr. Armitage? 😀
(I think I just made up a word, lol)
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Yes, I think you did 😀
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Thanks for this much needed Emergency *ooof* Guylty! And the ficlet is… hilarious! Why can I perfectly imagine RA doing just the described things? 😀
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Pleasure, Micra. The gauntlet had been flung at my feet. And after such a long time without *ooof*ing, this certainly was a nice challenge.
As for RA doing what I fictionally made him do? Nah, don’t think so. I doubt he spent any time on this thing. (But I do think he is vain :-D)
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He confessed it himself 😉
I think he put some time in this, especially since he seems always to dislike himself in pics and on screen (or so he says). Perhaps, this time he wanted to be sure he “liked” the pic before tweeting it. Enjoying the power of choice that it’s usually precluded to him.
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I know – that 60 seconds interview with Martin Freeman. Mind you, I had thought that to be a tease, not the bitter truth 😀 So yeah, Mr Vanity has disclosed himself.
And I still don’t think he put a notable amount of time in this. But more time than the mere point – click – upload of other people’s selfies. Maybe it is what you say – just being able to make a choice himself. Mind you – choosing and editing is the worst part of the photographic process.
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Me too, Micra 🙂 I love G’s ficlets!
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Which reminds me – I need to update the *ooof*let section.
BTW – I hope you clicked on the link and read Judiang’s fabulous Social Media post about “The Man”. Hilarious.
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Oh, I’ve read that one before- more than once 🙂 It’s a classic!
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Hello Mr. Vanitage 🙂
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Ach so, besten Dank auch. Bist halt doch ein Profi ❤
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Haha, die Meisterin des wohldosierten Kompliments schlägt wieder zu. Guylty ist geschmeichelt. 😀
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Wohldosiert und gut plaziert. Kleine Schnuckeligkeiten erhalten die Freundschaft. Und ich weiss/ahne schliesslich die Mühen, die dem Werk vorausgingen 😉
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Hervorragend gemacht. Du bist mein Motivator 😉
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Gib mir meeeeeehr. ;-). Das flutsch runter wie Öl. Super, dann habe ich heute auch meine Dosis Selbstbestätigung bekommen. Wird immer wieder gebraucht und gerne genommen.
Lass uns gegenseitig aus dem Sumpf rausschreiben 😀
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Hehehe, ich glaube, die Strategie ist schon aufgegangen… Dank Herrn Armitages Eitelkeitsprojekts sonne ich mich in der Aufmerksamkeit seiner Gutwünscher. Ich bin dem Mann zu ewiger Dankbarkeit verpflichtet. Hach, das Leben ist wieder mal schön.
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Und immer immer wieder geht die Sooooohnne auf…… 🙂 Frei nach Udo J.
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Nachtrag: dein zweiter Name ist Berechnung, was? 😉
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Wie, was? Meinst du jetzt Pleasure? Oder meinen RL Namen? *aufleitungsteh*
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Ich meine, du schreibst natürlich um die Meriten für deine Ergüsse einzuheimsen (Stichwort Strategie). *tätschel* Alles echt viel heute, gelle? Aber ich rudere zurück: Berechnung ist ein unerfreuliches Wort. Sagen wir lieber Absicht, dein zweiter Name 🙂 A ist auch näher am ObB!
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Ah, ok, kapiert. “calculation is your middle name”. Nun ja, ich würde lügen, wenn ich behaupten würde, ausschließlich für mich selbst zu schreiben. Da bin ich genau so eine Selbstprostituierte wie gewisse Schauspieler *ggg*
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“Berechnung” in Gänsefüsschen. Ohne kann man das tatsächlich missverstehen. Also, kein schlauchsteh-Problem 😉
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*giggles* Arsey Vanitage. Another alias…
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Wobei wir fast wieder bei Obst von gestern wären…..
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So fügt sich organisch das eine zum anderen.
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Ich glaube, euch beiden sollte mal jemand die Ohren langziehen.
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Sorry, bei mir kommste da nicht dran und die Guylty ist schnell, glaube ich (analog zum Mundwerk, jetzt mal tolldreist unterstellt!) 😀
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So groß bist du nun auch wieder nicht, dass ich nicht an deine Ohren käme. 😛
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Bei Schuhgrösse 8,5 kann ich noch einiges an Länge ausfahren 😉
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Ach, und ich nicht? *g*
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Der Beweis steht noch aus.
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Sollten wir uns mal begegnen, wird das ein *sehr* interessantes Treffen … *gg*
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Da kannst du alle deine Stacheln drauf verwetten! Irgendwann kriegen wir das mal hin.
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Mach mir keine Angst. *gg*
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Hm, habe ich jetzt dir Angst gemacht? *gg*
Naja, damit du dich wieder raus trauen kannst, verordne ich mir mal selber einen Abend ohne Computer. Schönen Abend. *Computer für heute ausmach*
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Nein, ganz sicher keine Angst. Guuds nächdle 🙂
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Den hab ich mir gestern abend nach Einschlagen der Selfie-Bombe gegönnt. Die Eierstöcke mussten sich erholen. Schönen Abend denn.
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Are you implying he’s vain about that particular part of his anatomy? Which pair of tight jeans led you to believe that?! 😀
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Laugh out LOUD.
Well, the thing is – he only ever makes disparaging remarks about his face, never about his booty etc. My razor sharp analytical mind (…) tells me that he’s pretty confident when it comes to his peaches and thighs. But the face… not so much. 😀
But hey, let’s wait and see. Selfies do not just refer to pictures of the face. I am waiting for an Armitage-made bum shot!
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Heh, I won’t launch into amateur psyshology but it’s an interesting subject….
You said it! Waiting for a “best features” series. 😀
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Yeah. *he* is the psycho expert now 😉
Best of Armitage – mh, sounds like a good plan. Somebody tweet him quick. He seems to bow to fan pressure…
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LMAO!
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Oh God!Yes! Please! 😀
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I’ve loved the story!
That’s been the fiftieth shot… Or the first…
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You know, I’d love to see the rejects – if there were any.
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Who knows…
About the “who made it for” issue. When I saw the tweet this morning I didn’t thought even for a second that he made it for the fans. That was my first impression. But… who knows where the truth is… Understand his way of thinking is as easy as reading Egyptian hieroglyphs before Champollion 😀
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It’s made for self-promotion. *shrugs* So be it. I take my prompt from that.
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“OK you win” made it sound like it was for the fans, but as you say, Barsine, who knows?
To your point, G, he certainly could have decided to kill some other bird too with that stone.
(It would be supremely ironic if he really wasn’t primarily sending for the fans- as that seems to be the departure point of most existing outrage. Life is a funny thing though, and I’d rather laugh whenever I can than cry.
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Well, directing a selfie at fans is part of self-promotion, I would think? I doubt a selfie has any clout with the movie business though.
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Right on both counts, I believe!
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Beautiful *ooof*! I’ve lought loud! You are so inventive!
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Hehehe, I know the problem well. Let’s just say I am a regular fail at selfie photography… Thanks Mariana.
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Believe it or not, my first thought was not obscene. This is a fabulous *ooof*, thanks for putting it out there!
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Whot? Not obscene? Armitage has failed miserably then 😉
BTW, still formulating a proper response to your post from this morning. Have been frantically searching “X” in the urban dictionary. No joy. Is it code for “number 2”???
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Isn’t consensus that “x”=kiss and “o”=hug? That’s what I’ve seen floating about (and used to be that way with handwritten notes 🙂
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I always thought that “o” means “love”????
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Dunno- same idea?!? (almost 🙂
(No, self, no launching into another “shades of meaning” diatribe…. it’s Friday night, lighten up LOL)
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Lol. Yes, let’s resist. I overinterpreted too much already!
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I love that he took the time to edit his selfie. Such human behavior from an inhumanly attractive subject. If ever there was a call for an Emergency Extra *Ooof*, this was it. Can’t. Stop. Staring. lol
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*ggg* Well, vanitas vanitatum, omnis vanitas… He’s only a weak human, working in an extraordinarily superficial business. Still. Disgusted 😉
Glad to have been your enabler today 😉
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So an actor is vain. Who knew? Loved your analysis and selfie story. I had a mixed reaction to this. Loved the eyes, wondered if he was wearing lipstick and why the hell was he wearing a coat in 80 degree weather? Was he really in LA? Did he edit out the beads of sweat running down his beautiful face? And did he mean LAX as a location, instead of LA. X? Or did X mark the spot? So many questions, so little time to ponder the answers.
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LOL – touché Kathy. I think that was naive little Mary Sue speaking there, who had placed Armitage on a pedestal marked with “perfect human being” :-D.
As for appearance in selfie: I somehow took this for a selfie that he took during a daytime shoot in downtown LA. The tweet following it refers to the costume guy on the film – sounds as if he was doing some tweeting in a pause on set. So yeah, he most likely is covered in make-up. But the funny colours of his skin can hardly be the deliberate work of a make-up artist. (Unless Dr White is a bit of a weirdo. Or the make-up artist. Is a weirdo.) That’s the work of some gimmick-y iPhone photo filter. Meant to give a retro feel to the image.
You know what – I also read the LA.X as the airport…
These questions move the world, indeed.
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There is not one speck of a Mary Sue residing in you, dear Guylty. Impossible. There are a lot of weirdos in Hollywood, so your speculation regarding Dr.White or makeup artist is not improbable. Maybe with the dark coat and the collar pulled up he was trying for a John Proctor vibe, without the dirt, scowl, and moody lighting. Or maybe he was bored and just messing around. Can we ever know?
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Hehe, Kathy, even the most hardened cynics may have a Mary Sue at the bottom of their cold hearts 😉
Yep – quite a Proctor vibe, I agree. Or the peacoat courtesy of Lucas North Spooks 7. *eeek* It scares me how easily I can reference a garment to previous roles…
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You made my day, too, guylty.
“Those windows to the soul” are as blue as my joy toy Thorin´s one 🙂
The ficlet is hilarious as always and a goot advice to me as a total selfie newbie (will try it next week for your badger project, hehe).
So, I have to call him Mr. Vanitage instead of Mr. A in the future.
Yes, we are waiting for a “best of” series.
Meine Gedanken zu einem “quick selfie” ( ich zitiere nur dich) behalte ich jetzt lieber für mich.
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*ggg* Gönn ihm doch auch mal ein bisschen Spaß …
Toller Avatar! TOP!!! 🙂
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Glad that *someone* found the usual photo tips, hidden in the ficlet this time…
Quick selfie – *coughs* Well, yes. Could be misinterpreted *tuttuttut*. But then again, selfie has become a recognisable word in its own right.
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I’m not one for selfies much–but I have to say, this one is head and shoulders over almost any other one I’ve seen. Of course, the fact that it’s Richard helps a bunch.
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Touché, Stephanie. It’s a good selfie, alright, but made better by the subject 😀
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Wieder ein interessantes *ooof*, Guylty. Ich bin dir so dankbar, dass ich sogar niemandem verraten werde, dass du die OOR (Offiziellen Ooof-Regeln) gebrochen hast. 😀
Ich habe ja keinen Schimmer von Fotografie mit dem Phone, daher hätte nicht gewusst, dass das Bild bearbeitet ist. (Wobei wir – nur mal angemerkt – ja nicht wirklich wissen, ob es denn tatsächlich ein Selfie ist. Sieht zwar danach aus, aber wir waren ja nicht dabei …)
Hautfarbe? Ich vermute ja, dass das ein Pic am Set ist, also war der Herr gesalbt und gepudert, um’s mal so zu sagen. (Ey! Ich dachte, der ist da zum Arbeiten, nicht um Spaß zu haben!!! – Schauspieler … Mir fehlen die Worte. *hochnäsig den Kopf schüttel* 😉 )
PS: Wenn das hinter ihm ein Fenster ist, wird dort *noch* weniger geputzt als bei mir.
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Danke fürs Verständnis 😀
Ja, also, wenn das jetzt kein Selfie ist, dann gibt’s aber Zunder, Armitage. Nicht nur manipulieren, sondern auch noch betrügerisch falsche Tatsachen vortäuschen. Mann Mann Mann.
Make-up – nee, nicht nur. Das ist ein Filter. Ich kann mir jedenfalls nicht vorstellen, dass ein Make-up Fritze so fies rosa-orange pudert und dann auch noch manche Stellen bleich lässt. Nö. Das ist so ein Vintage-Filter-Effekt.
Die Schlieren sind komisch. Konnte ich mir auch keinen Reim drauf machen. Vielleicht ist es sein Heiligenschein?
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Heiligenschein.. prrrruuusssstt.. ich habe gerade die Nachbarschaft um 3 Uhr morgens geweckt mit meinem Lachen :-p
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hm,applying logic :-p i love this deduction business :-p Having seen the studio photos posted by the place, CCS they are called i think,this is a hospital setting so behind are the fake monitors and the rooms all had glass/plastic walls/separators so–> the monitors are behind and he’s actually propping his back or standing against a glass/plexiglass separator thus the blurr (blurring being a major technique applied across that shoot :-p)
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Fandom Forensics! You win the prize of the day!
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LOL we’ll never be as fast as him, but bet we can give him a good run for his money :-p (what’s the prize? can i touch the beard? )
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Guylty, don’t you have one of those special “Robert Hermitage” badges for her? 🙂
(Although your idea is much better, H, I have no authority to make that happen- unfortunately for both of us ;P
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oh thanks! but i do have badge and photos of my new and small shrine with stuff also around here a few posts back :-p i’ve got all the prizes i could possibly want and have! 😀 some are better left to the imagination as i want to stay alive to enjoy them (i fear i’d not survive that kind of encounter with ooa)
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Oh, I was kidding too, “Robert Hermitage” is kind of an alterego (evil twin?) for RA – but I think he deserves his own badge 🙂
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See above…
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You know what? I do!!! 😀
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Oh, I love that term fandom forensics…
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Ah, sounds legit. I must confess my interest did not really go beyond Mr Armitage’s ears, so I never bothered to research the background. Thanks for the explanation!
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Dabei hat er wirklich seeehr hübsch geformte zierliche Öhrchen. Another Mr. Earitage 😉
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Wer jetzt? Patsche Liii? Oh nee – kein Vergleich. Apropos Ohren – Armitage hat extrem eng anliegende Ohren; das fiel mir bei dem Selfie sofort auf. *schmelzdahin*
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Patscheliiis Ohrwascheln interessieren mich nicht mal peripher. Ich meine die Armitage-Ears. Genau: eher klein aber sehr wohlproportioniert. Echt knuffig das (oh C. lass es gut sein, to much sun und kein Mann 😉 ) Die wird er sich doch hoffentlich NICHT vergrössern lassen 😀
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LOL – Ohrenvergrößerung… gibt’s so was? Hat er doch nicht nööööötig… Gar nichts hat er nötig. Perfekt in der Imperfektion. Aber naja, erzähl das mal jemandem, der noch von seiner Jugend traumatisiert ist…
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Nein, von Ohrenvergrösserung hat man noch nie was gehört. Ich glaube, wenn sie nicht abstehen, verschwendet kaum einer einen Gedanken an sie. Nur so durchgeknallte Blogbesucherinnen, die irgendwie so hetero drauf sind……. Sonst niemand, sicher!
Und ich werde jetzt aus purer Bosheit und aus Anstandsgründen nichts und auch garnichts zum
Thema Vergrösserung sagen. Also Ohrläppchenvergrösserung klar, oder? Oder doch nicht? 😎
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Das Ohr des Mannes, so sein…???
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Ach es ist ein Fest mit dir Ball zu spielen. 🙂 Nein, der Vergleich geht irgendwie anders. Ohren kommen da glaube ich nicht vor. Mir fällt bloss gerade nicht ein, wie das genau heisst…. Und irgendwie passt das hier im Bezug auf die Ohren auch nicht sooooo würde ich meinen. Also alles nur REINE Annahme*totalundkomplettunschuldigpfeif* Ist das jetzt auch schon ein Fall für den RArmySheriff? Total coole Aktion, ehrlich 🙂
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*grins* Naja, rein theoretisch könnte man ja alles zum Maßstab nehmen. Weiß gar nicht, wer sich das mit der Nase ausgedacht hat. Und gab es da nicht auch mal was mit dem Daumen???
Jou, RAsnarktastic hat mal wieder voll den Nagel auf den Kopf getroffen.
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😀 Wie schön, dass DU den Daumen erwähnst. Jepp, da gibts was (Hölle, Hölle, Hölle). Brauchen wir nicht zu besprechen, erklärt sich von selbst. Wer hat eigentlich diese Weisheiten aufgestellt ? Gab es dazu Feldversuche? 🙄 Nach dem Motto: Hände her und Hosen runter 🙂
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Ha, die Erkenntnis hat mich gerade angefallen: Wie die NASE eines Mannes….. Na also, genau das wollten wir bestätigend doch hören, oder? 🙄 (den Smiley wollte ich mal ausprobieren)
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😀 naja, das liegt doch nahe bei unserem Messias. Ich verweise auf den RAsnarktastic post von vor einigen Wochen.
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so glad to read your thoughts on this b/c I noticed the focus and guessed it was probably an added effect but wasn’t sure how (I don’t have an iphone and have never actually taken a pic w/the phone I do have…) this makes me feel less hostile than when I first saw the pic w/my initial reaction of “damn! why don’t my selfies look like that?!”, that’s after I broke out of the hypnotizing spell of the blue eyes, of course 😉 I like to think that our dear Mr.A is just like the rest of us in that this pic was not the result of his first try but maybe his 4th or 5th 😛
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*giggles* Yes, I was quite in a huff, too. It’s just really offensive that this multi-talented individual is also perfectly adept at producing above-average selfies. Hmph.
And yes, if this was his first and only shot, I am going to shoot myself. Not with a camera, though.
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Now, I need to p r a c t i s e …. and read all those helpful hints more carefully….
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Maybe I should write a separate post about selfie-taking? It has crossed my mind…
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yes yes yes, although i already copied and saved those tips to a document under my photo folder :-p
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Okidoki. It’ll be done. Preferably in context with another Armitage selfie gem 😀
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Am I the only cynic who suspects he had professional help? The DP said “Shoot it here with the lighting from the last scene. Then hand me the phone and I’ll fix it a bit.”
Full disclosure: I was one of the naggers who goaded Guylty into writing this ooof. Sorry, G. I thought I was just sending you a quiet e-mail in the middle of the night. Silly me to underestimate the needs of the wider fandom.
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Thank you for the goading. We all benefit. You are not the only cynic, he is probably surrounded by professional “fixers” who wanted a crack at being creative with his head shot. It looks very old Hollywood to me, and I mean that as a compliment.
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No, you could be right on the help. The composition is just too good. The editing seems uncharacteristic. But hey, in dubio pro Armitage 😀
Hehe, yes, there were anonymous messages on tumblr, tweets, e-mails and comments on yesterday’s *ooof*. Concerted action of the fandom. It’s all good, though. I often need my ass kicked into gear.
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Pressed into service by the fandom….. sounds glorious somehow, lol!
Your gifts are clear to all, apparently – Thanks for rising to our collective summons 🙂
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Late to the party but no less impressed both of your analytical description of the photo and the ficlet which sounds like a really plausible description of the moment last night! He is gradually becoming a master of the twitter verse, lol. Very professional and quite ambitious with his gadgets, isn’t he? I love it! That man in that pic is so stunning! ❤
Thank you for djverging from you common rules ;)! It was worth it!
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I’d like to think he was less incompetent with his phone, tbh. But I cannot resist taking the mickey out of him. That’s my revenge for generally distracting me with his antics. Or for simply being.
In hindsight it was a pleasure to break the rules… Let’s see if he can better his own selfie-efforts. If so, I’ll happily do him again *sniggers*
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I caught it *sniggering back atcha*
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I am just recovering (you know, opened my computer 10 minutes ago and your “ooof” and fainted immediately). Just tell my why when I make a selfie, my face seems to be a mask for Halloween and RA is just: wonderful ? magnifique ? bellissimo ? I try to find the right words. There is a song for this selfie. A french song who says “elle a les yeux revolver, elle a le regard qui tue” which means “she has gun eyes, she has a killing look”. And something else, even with the beard he seems so different than how he was in London this summer. Like if it is him and at the same time it’s not him. Am I the only one to feel this ?
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Well, in the summer he was still Proctor-ized when he met people at the SD, as he admitted himself. I think the difference is that he is looking straight at the camera, eyes open wide, whereas he was very turned in on himself in London. At least that’s what I thought.
“killing look” – touché. Well, thanks to clever editing 😛
And as a consolation: When researching the *ooof* earlier today I took a selfie of myself to check which kind of enhancements he might have put over the image. I recoiled in horror… Halloween had come early, indeed.
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No, you ‘re perfectly right. When I first looked at this toxic pic, I really didn’t recognised him. Very strange. Maybe he is a lookalike of RA? 😉
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It’s Robert Hermitage, who else? He’s taken over while Armitage is busy filming. That explains all!!!
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Guylty, ich liebe dich ❤
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Das hört man gerne. Armitage, careful now. Your fans’ love is being redistributed to memememememeeeee 😀
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Ja, aber nur, solange du mir weiterhin Hirnorgasmen verschaffst. Für die anderen Begeisterungszustände würde ich dann gerne die allseits beliebte Vorlage bemühen. Wieso klingt das jetzt wieder so, schmuddelig?
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Weil du das O-Wort im selben Atemzug mit Vorlage und in Anspielung auf Armitage verwendest 😀
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Like! 😀
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Hermitage rides again 😀 Guylty you never cease to bring joy whenever you write! Blending technical savvy with your humour and ficlets is like a drug – can’t get enough!!! Thanks for breaking the rules Lovely Miss Rebel 🙂
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Cheers 🙂 Glad you like it. Note to self: Must break rules more often.
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Everything jollytr said! “Hermitage” is becoming our own private “Spanish Inquisition,” isn’t it? You just never know where he will show up. While I was being cranky above, I forgot to say: Who the hell cares how these photos happen, as long as they keep appearing! Pant, pant.
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LOL – nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Too right.
And yeah, at the end of the day, it’s all small beer, anyway.
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Excellent job! What a doll you are Mr.Vanitage ! hahaha! Thank you for the laugh, Guylty 😀
( HeyGuylty:) did you noticed that the “odd 😉 shaped foread ” is missing too ?)
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Yep – no shadows on the angular forehead. But there was strong light in the image. Indication that it was indeed taken on set??
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**dreamy sigh**
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Appropriate reaction *ggg*
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Very late catching up here- thanks for breaking your professional rule and giving this one the once over, Guylty. Excellent info there on selfie enhancements, and loved your take on RA’s efforts to deliver the winning shot.
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Hehe, we’ve all been there. I remember a selfie-taking session last year where I wanted to document the make-up a make-up artist friend had applied to me. It literally took 30 shots from different angles, distances and in different poses to come up with the goods.
And it was nice to break the rules – although it felt weird thinking of RA as a “photographer”. I just can’t see him making deliberate choices in that field. Or I prefer not to.
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it’s so nice and peaceful tonight! honestly i was using twitter before him, but since him it’s like every time he drops one of these the world just goes spinning and wipes me around with it 🙂 i’m too old for this! i was an already fully formed slow-mo person before internet appeared. i love it, but boy the speed is dizzying sometimes 🙂
It’s a ‘wham’ pic to which my first thought was bl**dy hell! and a long time later: i really like the beard in this shot 🙂 Thanks for pointing out the enhancements :-p tsk tsk tsk! i’ll just go for ‘boys with toys’ 😀 approach as why would somebody who looks like him want to look even better, or think plain him is not whammy enough?, certainly very yummy to me 😉
Great ficlet, soothing to at least pretend to think he’s had to do many to achieve this :-p
He’s a very fast learner and this is one fascinating learning curve, from the first bday pic to the already really good selfie from NY, to this which is no longer selfie really but photography or enhanced play with the face and apps :-p After all an actor’s whole body is a tool and it’s not surprising he’d end up binding that and tech in experiments :-p fun to see what else he’ll try out next 😀
It’s a beauty shot all right and i really like the shot and what he’s done with it, but truly and honestly, one day later once my head has stopped spinning :-p i’m afraid i’m back to Thorin, Proctor pics or some random pics of his natural self which i find long term more entRAncing and more comfortable to look at, i’m too plain of taste for the sophistication of this 😀 (what can i do, i’ll probably never fully escape the fascination with the 17th century man i stumbled upon on stage :p, you know back to the basics and all that)
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Help! I need help……can’t stop staring into the ‘blue’.
Thanks for the emergency ‘Ooof’ Guylty, I love the ficlet too.
He made sure not to include those forehead lines and I think someone’s helped him a bit with editing that pic’, maybe someone on the film crew. It’s quite a stunning photo….*sigh*
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Glad you like it, Austoz. It’s stunning alright. But we’d probably also say that about a photo of him snoozing…
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Thanks for the oof. I’m pretty sure he sent it someone to get it edited.
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No idea. All I can say is that it looks edited for sure. But the editing is not so difficult that Armitage couldn’t do it himself. It takes two taps on the editing app… Who knows, maybe he is a gadget geek…
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Thank you for the *ooof*. What a great picture of Richard. His eyes are so blue,
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The pop of blue is really striking, isn’t it? First thing I noticed, too.
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At the time I started to read the comments I was starting to get sleepy. I did read them all between cat naps. The blue really stands out. I like how they can change colors or look like they do, depending on what he is wearing. Mine do the same, not sure why. I go from blue to green. Most the time there blue.
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Extremely late for the party here :(. You should definitely break your rules more often!! My favorite bit of the ficlet was where he’s got Twitter notifications turned on on his phone…as if! The man’s butt cheek would be perpetually numb from all the vibration :D.
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LOL – I had totally forgotten how unlikely it is that he has notifications switched on. Numb butt cheeks *rofl*. I wish I had thought of that for the ficlet!!!
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Ah well, the reason he’s on Twitter is to get his image out there, and why not an image like this one? Artful indeed Mr. Vanitage! The eyes are extraordinary, but as a matter of fact, I prefer a 3/4 view of him. The nose, you see, is better appreciated at that angle.
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I think you are right, Linnet. I prefer it, when his face is at *any* other angle rather than dead-pan. The nose is one of his best assets. (Always was, even pre-op)
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Pre-op?????
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I’m afraid, Linda, I now also believe that Armitage had some work done on his nose…
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??????????????? Mmmhhhhhh…. Oh heck!! NO! I’m still a strong believer in his genuine face (besides the teeth!!)
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He He !
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Dear Joanna, now, I fail to comprehend what you are about to tell me or guylty?? 🙄 Actually I know what I do hope, sincerely….!! 😀
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He had work done? I didn’t know that! I’d like to see what he looked like before.
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Any picture pre-autumn 2013…
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Ah, I see. The new nose is nifty, but I kinda like the old one! Very manly 🙂 But more suited to character roles, I suppose. It would tend to brand him as “villain” in the eyes of casting directors, whereas the new one says “hero.”
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That’s exactly what I was thinking, linnetmoss! He has now the “job nose” he wanted. Of course, the old nose was unique and so manly!
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I never noticed that. But you are so so RIGHT!!! (Thing is: Most women do have a thing for redeemable villains, though… He really made the wrong call…)
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As a CH fan I can only agree. What made me a fan was his turn as the evil Bois Guilbert in Ivanhoe–a villain in love!! OMG, still one of his sexiest roles. No doubt Guy of Gisborne has similar appeal…
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It’s a strange dichotomy – I am not sure whether I would really fall for a villain in RL, but in fiction and film they are simply more interesting than Goody Two Shoes. Those shades of grey are fascinating, and I suppose it appeals to my sense of mission if I think a character can be redeemed… (Damn, that’s all pretty predictable…)
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The stuff of which romance is made! Especially if that which redeems him is Love… the challenge of course is how to tell the story anew without making it a syrupy cliché. I find that generous lashings of lusty humor are helpful 🙂
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Loved this explanation.
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