OT: RAPS Inc. in the (Waste-Paper Basket of the World) Press

Shocker: RAPS Inc. Produces First Non-RA Pocket Shrine

Latest Shrine Edition Renews Doubts about RAPS Inc.’s Commitment to Shrine Subject

Despite desperate attempts at keeping evidence from filtering through, news have emerged that RAPS Inc. has produced drooling material that puts a new subject in the centre of a shrine. Is this an indication that previous shrine subject Richard Armitage will be replaced by a new hottie, Irish actor Ciaran Hinds?

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The latest RAPS Inc. shrine from the outside

Cloud-Cuckoo-Land. 13 Aug 2015 – Increasing signs indicate that RAPS Inc. is going renegade. After an inglorious episode at the beginning of April 2015, during which the RAPS Inc. leadership acted like a prima donna and announced plans of switching allegiances from previously adored shrine object Richard Armitage to an entirely unsuitable (blonde) Alexander Skarsgard, and changing the company moniker to “ASPS”, speculation has been renewed that the drool facilitator manufacturer is in the process  of re-focussing their business. Picture evidence has emerged that RAPS Inc. has produced a “RAPS” that cannot be called “eponymous” anymore: Instead of featuring Richard Armitage, the actor at  the centre of the shrine is Irish thesp Ciaran Hinds.

According to the company’s mission statement, “RAPS Inc. is a drool facilitator manufacturer, dedicated to providing high-quality drooling solutions for clients who seek a fun and discreet fangirling experience at home and on the go. We exclusively work with high-end visual material supplied by our shrine subject, Richard Armitage. Our mission is to “Praise the RA, Entertain the FAn”. Our vision reflects our  commitment to inspire our clients by leveraging the RAPS’s three key strengths: “Cutting-edge Design,” “Innovative Products,” and “Creative Drooling Solutions.”” In light of the current pocket shrine edition, the adage “RAPS” could not be further from the truth. Covertly obtained images reveal the extent of the betrayal that is currently under foot at RAPS Inc.

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Wentworth displaces Thornton in the period RAPS category

While continuing the trademark re-invention of iconic character imagery within a portable shrine solution, RAPS Inc. is placing well-known Irish acting personality Ciaran Hinds in one of his most evocative and romantic roles at the centre of its drool facilitator. Hinds, who is currently treading the boards in a media-effective production of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, is shown as irresistible period-drama hero Captain Wentworth from the much-loved Austen novel Persuasion. Is RAPS Inc. replacing the brooding heat of Northern mill-owner and serial smoulderer Mr Thornton with the shy, confused military charm of Naval profiteer Captain Wentworth?

“From time to time we run experiments in RAPS Inc. to gauge market reaction and future expansion opportunities. We are thoroughly satisfied with our current shrine subject and are not planning to permanently expand our production line for the moment”, a RAPS Inc. spokesperson replied with a standard statement to our e-mail. How come then, that the leaked pocket shrine not only convincingly pairs period pleasure with RL hotness, but also includes deeply personal, confession-style slogans?

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Has Hinds pierced the RAPS makers’ soul?

A company insider who declined to be named told this publication, “yes, the creative department has been acting suspiciously. But we have been told the Hinds Shrine was produced as a once-off favour to a valued company supporter.” However, evidence points into a different direction, as said creative department has been heard extolling the dreamy qualities of Hinds’ stint as Wentworth on an online-based, specialized Hinds-appreciation publication which surreptitiously goes under the deceptive name of “Linnetmoss”: “Persuasion is my favourite Austen novel, and I remember watching the 1995 BBC film in the cinema back then. It was absolutely no hardship for me to think up a shrine for Mr H, on my watch list ever since Persuasion.”

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Hinds overload – is this just a once-off or the action of a renegade creative department?

According to our anonymous source, steps have been taken to ensure the future of undistracted RA drooling. The creative department is currently in intensive re-education in a closed facility where the Armitage oeuvre is on continuous loop, focussing specifically on the tall, dark and handsome British actor’s latest work as Francis Dolarhyde in the US-TV show Hannibal. Mr Armitage’s stint on the critically acclaimed horror-psycho thriller has been widely labeled as “revelatory”, “masterfully acted” and “arousing”, and hopes are high that exposure to the latest, stimulating visual material will bring RAPS Inc.’s creative department back in line. A new shrine edition is expected from RAPS Inc. coming Saturday, between 9 and 11pm, EST.

42 thoughts on “OT: RAPS Inc. in the (Waste-Paper Basket of the World) Press

  1. i must tell the truth and say that he is very deserving of being enshrined and is in possession of considerable charm and humour 🙂 In spite of being under the pressure of the ‘media effective production’ (ROFLMA!!) he proved himself the very elegant gentleman and very kind to his fans 🙂 Definitely worthy 🙂 And as Wentworth even more 😉

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    • Well, yes, I do think he is deserving of a shrine, even if he is not *my* preferred shrine subject. But from what I have heard he is a funny and friendly man. And his Capt Wentworth was definitely swoon-worthy.

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    • LOL – “outside the box”! Brilliant. Now, next time I will have to write an article for “The RAg”, that is: in tabloid press style, and subedit it thus. And yes, Mr Hinds is officially approved by me. (But then again, I am that notorious “creative department”… so my input doesn’t count. It’s the CEO who pulls the punches here…)

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  2. I’m afraid I don’t know who this actor is but as someone who has various “interests” I think it’s perfectly fine to shrine other subject matter now and then, cathartic even. but in fear for your safety, I’d suggest not making a habit of it; fangirls be crazy! 😀 😀

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  3. Insiders tell me that when news first broke on this emerging Armitage-fandom crisis yesterday, one little-known but previously believed-to-be devoted Armitage blogger was heard to muse that perhaps an Alexander Skarsgård shrine or especially a Joe Manganiello shrine wouldn’t be all that problematic, indicating that this latest work by RAPS, Inc. may have inadvertently triggered troubling ripples of inconstancy throughout the Armitage fandom. One can only hope that “more lashes, less teeth” is the trend in tonight’s Hannibal appearance by the formerly unrivaled Mr. Armitage.

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  4. Der Mann ist fraglos interessant, bewegt in mir aber rein garnix. Macht auch nichts, ist ja nicht für mich. Fraglos ein ausnehmend hübsches Stück. Die Farben sind wunderbar gewählt.

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  5. This shrine should be called a CHPS, in honor of Mr. Hines. It has a certain ring to it, but I must confess, when I read the revolutionary “one off” shrine was dedicated to him, I thought it was a different guy with the same name. Not that Mr. Hines isn’t shrine worthy, he is tall and has a lovely voice, just a little different than the usual object of our affection. I hope the creative team is enjoying their time at the re-education camp and working hard to get their collective heads on straight. Perhaps the intensity of the wonderfulness of RA’s Dollarhyde performance lead them astray. I head a humor that the CHPS was created after an excessive consumption of dirty martinis during a Hannibal viewing party.

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    • You know, Kathy, that was *exactly* the adage I had in mind for the shrine. Except the lack of a vowel disconcerted me. Is it CHPS as in ‘chaps’ or as in ‘chips’? Somehow I didn’t want the imager of a potato to creep in here 😉
      The creative dept is fully re-educated/brainwashed and focussed on the Red Dragon today. There was a good bit of visual goodness in the latest episode. If I crack open a bottle of Pinot Noir, things might get really hot…

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  6. LOL! Lovely (and elegant) shrine, and I agree that were Thornton to replace Wentworth in those poses it would be a real drool fest 😉

    And despite comments advising you to be careful, this gives me hope that one day I will be able to bribe you to produce a Fassbender shrine… No need for reasearch (I know you wouldn’t enjoy that) as I can provide all the required images 😀

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  7. Lovely red little box. Don’t know who this actor is but if you start creations out of our RA league, may I suggest a special shrine dedicated to the second love of my life : Aidan Turner (specially in Poldark he is gorgeous). It’s only a suggestion. I know you have a lot of work with a certain Francis D. and his dragon sickness !

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    • Hehe, I have opened a can of worms. Now that I have been unfaithful to RA once, other shrine objects might crop up… But no no no, only RA. (Although Turner is certainly not hard to look at… and my Irish ‘brother’).
      Yes, currently completely in the claws of the Red Dragon. Have got to make another shrine for tonight… It’s already in my head.

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  8. Lovely shrine! 🙂 I have a technical question, Wenworth’s letter as background of the shrine, did you write it with the computer, is it a photocopy of a printed version of the letter or among your many accomplishments there is also gorgoeus calligraphy?

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    • Whoopsie, only seeing this comment now. In answer to your question: Even though I do like calligraphy, I did not pen the background letter myself. It was only a font from my computer.

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    • Ciaran Hinds. Northern Irish actor. He’s a couple of semesters older than RA (ahem) and played Capt. Wentworth in a much-loved Jane Austen film 20 years ago.
      Mads Mikkelsen – of course, another favourite of yours. Hm. Similar category as Fassbender for me. These are tough challenges…

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