Happy Halloween [*ooof*let]

I have noticed that my recent *ooof’s have had an enthusiastic reception from you, dear readers. The stats shot up on the days when I posted them, and I’d love to write more – only that I haven’t had the time. However, with the day that is in it – and considering that it is a long time since I posed the below – I thought that it might be fun to re-post a a little something that I wrote in 2013. More than three years ago, this appeared over on me+r and was the start of my rather poor attempts at writing silly little ficlets. However, the subject – both of *ooof*let and accompanying picture – is timely and still valid, I think. And best of all, its subject matter really fits the day that is in it. Happy Halloween, everyone!

benrayner-06

Richard Armitage frowning in a Halloween shop – Picture by Ben Rayner, 2013

31st of October, half past four in the afternoon. My boss had let us all go early because it was Halloween, and most of us were heading to a monstrous party that evening. On my way home, I decided to stop at a Halloween store that had popped up around the corner from my office, in the hope of picking up a little seasonal, gimmicky gift for the hosts of the party I was going to later that night. “Lots of junk, I thought to myself”, as I entered the shop. “Will I find anything in here? Why did I leave it this late to get a pressie? Plus, I am not the only one, getting some kind of small present or last minute decoration.” Too many last-minute shoppers squeezed by each other in the tight space of the overfull shop. I perused the knic-knacks and decorations on offer. “Ghosts, posters, plastic spiders, a giant severed hand seeping blood *yum*, lots of webbing, a pair of denim peaches… Wait, wot?” My gaze got stuck on a handsome bottom, a hand’s reach away from me. “Snugly packaged”, I appreciatively pondered. “Broad shoulders, mhhh. Tight haircut. Nicely tall!!!” My assessment was going overdrive. “I love tight jeans on slim, athletic hips.” I found myself edging surreptitiously closer, covered by the throng of the shop. “I’d love to feel *that* spot. Where the hipbone meets the loins. Bone beside soft flesh.” I came closer, just centimetres away from the broad, be-knitted shoulders. I was so close that I could smell a faint whiff of cologne from the handsomely be-bottomed stranger. If I wanted to get past him in the overcrowded shop, I would have to brush along him, anyway. With the unaffected non-chalance of a polite fellow-customer, I whispered a quick “Pardon” and simultaneously placed my right hand on the stranger’s hipbone, signalling my intent to pass and indicating a request to make room. I skimmed the hollow between his hipbone and his loins with my thumb for the merest, briefest second, and brushed past, as his head shot up. I could feel his eyes on my back, lit up by surprise and confusion as I innocently made my way out of the shop…

Want more? Then check out this post by our recently re-surfaced Judiang, who is looking at the same scene from a different perspective. Frotteur…

If you would like to read the picture analysis that went with it, click here.

46 thoughts on “Happy Halloween [*ooof*let]

  1. No idea why y’all are so bothered by it 😉 Snuggly and warm! Imagine gently letting a hand slide in at shoulder level to pat the muscle on his chest, nice and warm 🙂

    Bet the gent in the shop was glad the lady didn’t pat his peaches while she swiftly moved past 😇

    Oh and i thought just because it is today you deserve a closer look at the spot you mentioned:
    Here is in motion 😂😂😂

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Thanks for the lovely interlude. I enjoyed both your perspective and Judi’s… the first time I stumbled across them and today too. Of course I’d much rather stumble across a “handsomely be-bottomed stranger”… love the phrase!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Happy Halloween. You were quite restrained with your wandering fingers barely grazing that denim. Good job. He probably thought you were just a friendly ghost.

    Liked by 1 person

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