Oops, a little late today
– I was busy with a fan encounter of a different kind, actually. No, not the OOA! We are on day #18 of the RA Challenge, and it might be useful to see the full list of the questions once again:
The Top 3 Things On My To-Do List If I Suddenly Found Myself Face To Face with RA
The fact that the question mentions the word “suddenly”, implies that this is not an occasion that is a planned, organised star-fan encounter. I am interpreting this like a chance meeting, outside of the usual context of fangirling activities – so no stage door, red carpet, interview, film set visit. Haven’t we all played this scenario through in our minds? The coincidental encounter, away from the performance pressure and the regime of a premeditated interaction between a star and his fans. Various scenarios come to mind – being upgraded on a business flight, I find myself sitting in First Class next to…; I have been invited to a dinner party by my movie business relations and *he* is among the guests…; wandering aimlessly around in Berlin/London/New York, I literally bump into *him* in what turns out to be his neighbourhood…
#1 – Discreetly and swiftly remove all outward signs of my fangirling (badge, Pop!Thorin, iPhone cover)
# 2 – Totally not let on that I know as much about him and his career as I do; feign ignorance
# 3 – Ignore show biz topics and totally engage him in a conversation about Brexit
There’s an underlying theme here. I don’t want to be identified as a fan. At least not from the outset. Not because I am uncomfortable with my activities as a fan or my affiliation with a fandom, but because it would be a total conversation killer. Loaded with *presumed* expectations. And creating an imbalance of power that I am not willing to engage in. I do not want to be on the back foot, or prejudged, or viewed with resentful caution. I want to engage in an open conversation between equals – just like I do with anybody. Anything else would be formulaic and boring.
Funnily enough – RL RA encounters are not really top on my list of favourite fantasies. If I am fantasising, I might as well go full-on fictional. And so I tend to dream about characters, preferably John Porter, occasionally John Standring. (I am not really imaginative enough to place myself in the 12th or 19th century respectively to find myself in a face-off over trade union activities with Mr Thornton, or bump into Sir Guy while perusing the stalls on Nottingham market.) The balance of power is always right with them – there is no fan baggage with them, and they are generally appreciative of any female attention for themselves.
Top 3 things to do when finding myself face to face with the likes of Porter and Standring? #1 Pull up bra and widen cleavage. #2 Clumsily fall over right into them, reaching for the front of their shirt where it meets the waistband, and while steadying myself discreetly and as if by coincidence touch that magic spot where groin meets loin. #3 Apologise profusely for klutzily invading their space and beg them to let me buy them a drink. That scenario *always* works in my imagination… I wonder why…
So what about you? What’s on your list?