High Emotions – Sunday at #RDC5 [part 9]

It’s been so bloody long, I really need to put this baby to bed. The last few things that need to be said about Red Dragon Con 5 – and I’ll make it relatively short because, yes, I am already bored with myself, too. [Added pre-publication but after finishing the post: Yeah, right, “short”… ] Sorry sorry sorry.

The brutalist charm of an airport hotel. The RDC venue, the Renaissance Hotel. Lovely.

When I rocked up in the venue at about 10.30am on Sunday morning, my first order of business was – queuing. You might remember that I had been blinded by the gorgeousness blinked in my precious photo with Richard, so I had to come in early for a re-shoot while Kate had a little more time to make her way to the hotel. I joined my queue… As I was finally getting into the room where the photo sessions were being held, observing Richard and his various co-sitters in the set-up, something amazing immediately occurred to me: Richard was putting his arm around everybody!!!! *gasp* Apparently someone had had a change of heart over night. Or someone else had taken him aside and given him a few pointers. Or maybe he just sneaked a peek at Twitter and saw that there had been some complaining. In any case, Richard seemed quite different on Sunday morning – and his new willingness to appear a little less reserved had a massive influence on his fans: The buzz in the room was undeniable; people literally appeared to be happier, more relaxed, very much in love even. Despite the human rights violation of a pair of loosely cut trousers, flapping from the supposedly delectable derriere of the OOA.

So once again the conveyor belt pushed me inevitably closer and closer to the epi centre: Leave your bag on the table. Show your photo badge to the helper. Five steps. Get the same warning as the day before. “No touching, no flower crowns.” Four steps. The flashes are really bright. Three steps. I must remember to really keep my eyes open. Two steps. Shit, I forgot Pop!Thorin. One step. I am next. Lift-off: I move into the frame. I say a polite hello to some tall bloke in a dark leather jacket. I look at the camera. Last second I decide to make the picture silly by pointing at that bloke. I feel a hand and an arm ghost across my back. I plaster a stupid grin on my face. As the flash goes off, I blink. I hurry out of the frame as quickly. What a horror show!

It remains a mystery to me how something as pedestrian as queueing and getting your photo taken, is so immensely draining on body and soul. When I came out of that session, I was basically ready for a lie-down. And it wasn’t even as if there had been any exciting exchange between me and Mr A. Quite the opposite, actually. We both very much kept to ‘our side of the bed’, so to speak. Luckily the next event was the 1pm Q&A with Richard. I readjusted my flower crown and went to look for Kate and Armidreamer.

Not *my* long face, but Claus with C – the rocking horse – modelling the exclusive Red Dragon FC, made by a sub division of RAPS Inc.

After another heart-breakingly good Q&A session with interview pro Richard Armitage, it was time for another stewarding stint again. And now the story got really interesting.

American Gothic all the way

Like the previous day, I had been put on photo collection duty for my volunteering on Sunday. When I got to the collection room, most pictures from the morning’s photo sessions had already been picked up and not much work was left to do. I spent a little while counting the photo “badges” (little receipts that had been used to make sure only paying con attendants got into the photo studio). It occurred to me to look for my own photo from the re-shoot. When I picked it up, I could not help but snort loudly. Once again I had closed my eyes when the flash went off – another photo op ruined. You really had to laugh. I was kind of muttering more to myself than anyone else “Ah no, I blinked again, my eyes are closed in my photo… too bad.” But a couple of women who actually worked properly for Starfury, apparently heard my mumbling, and I explained to them that I had ruined even the *second* of my photo ops. Ah well, no need to be sad. I had never really wanted to have a photo anyway. So I just accepted the fact that I am oversensitive to photographic flashes, and that was it.

And then, after a minute, the woman in charge of photo collection dropped a bombshell. “Do you want a re-shoot?” I could hardly understand what I was hearing. “Eh, yes…” I stammered, a thousand question marks in my tone. “Then you need to go now with this girl here. It’s the last picture of the day. Go go go.” Before I had time to understand what was happening, one of the Starfury assistants from the photo room was already looking for me in the photo collection room, and next thing I was already running with the girl through the hotel lobby to the backrooms where the photo sessions were held. The photo sessions were officially over, so the photo equipment was being packed up, the room rearranged. Instead of con attendants, the room was filled with volunteers and Starfury staff who were tidying up. The girl took me to the photographer, explaining that I was the last person that day to have a quick re-shoot. I apologised profusely for prolonging the photographer’s work, but he was calm and nice. He just told me to position myself in front of the backdrop, ready to have the picture taken as quickly as possible. Richard, I noticed, together with Mads Mikkelsen was still in the middle of signing one of the big banners that were going to be raffled off to the con attendants. Having to wait while standing under the bright illumination of the photo lights, is pure torture for someone who doesn’t like to be photographed in the first place. And I didn’t even have a prop with me to hide behind. Instead the thoughts were reeling in my head, telling myself I would have to concentrate on keeping my eyes open. And how the hell was I supposed to smile when I was actually struggling to keep myself from blushing with embarrassment?

And then things happen very quickly: At last, while I am still apologising/chatting with the photographer, Mads and Richard suddenly step into the photo area . I vaguely hear somebody explaining to them that there is to be one last re-shoot. I don’t know where to look, I am mortified, babbling apologies. Mads turns up on my left, and I sense Richard passing behind my back. It is actually Mads who addresses me with a grin and a chuckle: “Are you the blinker?” I have to laugh. “Yes. I am.” And I feel really bad when I actually turn him down – “but not with you but with Richard.” Mortally wounded (haha, or rather: not) Mads leaves the scene while somehow RA cops on that he is the one I want the picture with. I kind of sense that there is no point in saying much to RA – he is possibly less than impressed to have been roped in for a re-shoot and just wants this to be over. And so do I. I stand awkwardly beside him while trying to appear nonchalant, last-minute repeating my fun little finger-pointing gesture from the morning. *flash* I can feel I had my eyes closed. And the photographer says “hold on, let’s take another” while I feel my facial muscles spasm from the awkward artificial smiling. Yeah, American Gothic all the way now.

Alright, alright. Richard isn’t American Gothic, only I am. He smiled and his eyes sparkle. So there:

But boy, was that a struggle! I think the picture shows the strain, and so my advice to anyone similarly suffering from acute embarrassment in face of the OOA is to actually bring some kind of prop to the photo op. I definitely felt much less exposed when I had Pop!Thorin with me the day before. In the unlikely event of having to talk to Richard, Pop!Thorin at least would have provided a topic. Moreover, Pop!Thorin gave my hands an occupation, therefore avoiding both mirroring RA with hands in pockets, or looking like a family photo from a small town photo studio ca. 1984. Believe me, I know what I am talking about. I have been there. Both in 1984 and 35 years later. – I ran back to my stewarding job to finish my shift. And to thank the photo ladies for giving me the opportunity to re-shoot that picture. I knew that they had made an exception for me – it’s usually not possible to re-shoot photos (as is actually explained when you buy a token for the photo sessions). I, however, was lucky because I was volunteering with the right people. They simply were nice women. Which they not only proved with the whole re-shoot thing but something else.

The Heart in the Right Place

I always like to leave the best for last, and the following last incident from Sunday at RDC5 definitely ranks high among the many memories. The photo collection was pretty quiet by the time I came back from the photo re-shoot, and the ladies told me that there was no need for me to continue waiting there; they would look after the photo collections themselves. I packed up my stuff and was about to leave when I remembered one thing. Even though Hariclea couldn’t attend the con because of her mother’s death, she had obviously paid for her ticket. And while her included autograph allocation basically expired, the guys at the registration had promised me I could pick up Hariclea’s badge at the end of the con. After all there was a picture of Dolarhyde on the badge! The registration guy was sitting in the same room as the photo people, so I popped over to his desk and retrieved that badge. And by way of conversation I mentioned to the lovely photo ladies, that “my friend could not attend the con because her mother died the day before the con, and I am at least bringing this back for her as a souvenir”. The two of them looked at each other. Then one of them said: “Who’s her favourite star?” I said, “Richard.” She reached out her hand and said, “Just give me that for a moment.” I handed over the badge and she vanished with it. After 5 minutes she was back.

Just to spell it out: Without any prompting or suggesting from me, she had run over to the backrooms where Richard and Mads were still doing their autograph duties, and had obtained a signature from Richard on the ticket. I don’t know what she told him and how she did it, but she got the ticket signed by the man who Hariclea would’ve wanted to see. And for free. I was gobsmacked. And I don’t think there are words enough to say thank you to the photo ladies at Starfury’s Red Dragon Con 5. This was simply two decent people being touched by the kind of sad story that life writes – and reacting in a generous, kind and thoughtful way. And that counts for so much more than any kind of petty criticism for commercialised fandom events. I am annoyed with myself that I never asked for the two kind photo ladies’ names. But even without naming them, I am sure that the universe will reward them for their kindness. They so deserve it!

(Second but) Last Words

Right, I actually wanted to wrap up the whole con thing in this post, but again, I have been too elaborate. Apologies. I could leave it at this but that would be a bit unfair. I do want to give their dues to the other people whose appearances at the con I enjoyed. And I also want to say a last word about the fannibals and the various encounters I had. I promise, just one more post.

But to tie this one up, here’s a last reflection on the whole photo malarkey. I realise I am a lucky fan. I got my photograph with my favourite actor, and I was really lucky in that I came away with a version in which I *don’t* have my eyes closed. No complaints there. If there’s anything to complain about, it is me. The fangirl mind overanalyses all the time. Too busy are we, constantly monitoring what we say, what we think, and how we feel, in face of the OOA. Sometimes, I feel, that actually overshadows our enjoyment of the moment. That’s certainly what happened to me. There I was, standing beside this bloke whose talent and skills as a performer I so admire. It’s not every day that happens. And regardless of the vibes of reluctance and/or shyness that he was exuding all weekend, I *should have* loved every second I could stand beside the guy. I loved photographing him at the panels, I certainly loved listening to him speak, and if I had been a little less dim I would have loved the one-to-one moment at the signing, too. But the photo sessions? Boy, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough! This is just me and does not apply to everyone, but here is what I felt: The fact that I had two re-shoots kind of intensified or exacerbated the whole scenario for me. A rather luxurious complaint, I know. Taking three separate efforts to get a photo with my favourite star, I felt so embarrassed and awkward, put on the spot and as if my cover had been blown. No, I don’t believe that RA recognised me – I doubt he knows who I am. There is no reason why he should know me – I am one of thousands of people who turn up at events, waving a book or a programme at him, asking him to sign. Most of the time I hide behind my camera, anyway. But as much as I appreciated the exceptional circumstance that allowed me to have my picture taken (and *again*), for me it was definitely also a situation way beyond my comfort zone.

Even though the commercial aspect of the photo sessions legitimises our desire to be close (in proximity) to our favourite actor, there is one thing that money can’t buy: genuine interest. And that is what makes these photo ops and selfies by the stage door so difficult for me: I am there because I *want to* be there. I am genuinely interested in my favourite actor, and it is a pleasure for me to have the opportunity to see him live. But that is a pleasure that is not reciprocated. I understand that it can’t be, of course. There is only *one* of him – and *thousands* of fans. It is impossible for every fan encounter to be as meaningful to him as it is to the individual fan. But it is precisely this imbalance that I dislike. And I’d rather admire from afar and without acknowledgment, than from close up and only with polite tolerance. It also has got something to do with how *I* see myself, I guess. And while I know my shortcomings very well, I do believe that there is more to me than the fact that I like Richard Armitage. I don’t like to be defined predominantly by my status as a fan – especially by the guy who I am a fan of. Is that a contradiction or a logical conclusion?

I really don’t know. But I know one thing – with all my niggling about imbalance of interest: He was very fair about not singling anyone out – although he certainly had a bit of a Dibley revival weekend. But RA is not to blame for my difficulties with RL interactions. My overriding impression after observing those photo sessions and seeing Richard at the autograph signing, was one of gratefulness. I don’t know how he manages to so but he made every attempt at giving every fan their own special moment. Whether it is chatting with those Kiwi girls about NZ, expressing his admiration for Flat Richie’s international itinerary to armidreamer, laughing with Kate about Jill’s Gymkhana, or playing ‘Spot the Location’ with my photos, RA did try to be personable. You just have to be cool enough to take it. Which I am not.

73 thoughts on “High Emotions – Sunday at #RDC5 [part 9]

  1. First there is a hell of a lot more to you than this fandom: you are a dynamic individual who is a photographer, translator, mother, daughter, wife, avid theatre goer, organizer, cheerleader, educator, junk journal artist and human. Second that you thought about The Armitage and Starfury organizers and volunteers, Mads, and the lady from Spain (I think) you encountered on Friday night at the bar in your posts, Hariclea’s badge goes to show how We oriented you are as opposed to a Me oriented POV. I mean I could go on and on.
    Third, best line for me “human rights violation of a pair of loosely fit trousers.” that made my day!! He recycled those from Leeds right? Be proud you went.
    Finally, hopefully The Armitage learned some things about socializing and trusting himself (I suspect he did) and you gained a wealth of memories from Feb 1-3 that are priceless.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Aw, too much praise, Michele. But thanks!
      And I think you are spot on – there were a lot of lessons and insights at RDC, and that doesn’t just apply to me but I bet that RA also learnt some things. It’ll be so interesting to see whether he will do another con. And when.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Hello Sonja,

    Loved reading every part of your RA encounter at RDC5. I understand your fangirl feelings. It is the reason I will probably never (go to) see or meet him. Glad for you there were so many nice people around.

    Jacqueline

    Met vriendelijke groet, Jacqueline >

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    • Hello Jacqueline – thanks for coming over here to comment!! (I miss Twitter 😭! Can’t wait for Lent to be over so I can chat with you all again over there!)
      Those pesky fangirl feelings! It’s all very complicated. At least in our heads.

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  3. thanks for the final piece in the puzzle!
    i really enjoyed this article , love all the little details including Mads being cool as
    helluva sweet that those ladies got the ticket signed too
    nice to see the whole cosplay jumper lol!
    I have that same Zox-i love it so much x (thanks Lolo!)
    i’m still in two minds about meeting him-some days i’d love to and others i’m of the feeling that i’d rather leave it as a fantasy! also, i quite honestly don’t know how I would react-it really depends on how i’m feeling-some days i’ll be Miss Confident-all smiling, laughing/joking and probably making him feel awkward and another day I would be Miss Super Quiet, embarrassed grimacing!

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    • I think there’s really no telling beforehand. You just gotta close your eyes (metaphorically, G, metaphorically!!) and jump in. Whatever happens happens. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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    • I really have to say that I loved Mads Mikkelsen. He was the big surprise for me at the con. He just seemed so unpretentious and totally relaxed. No star airs and graces at all. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that he volunteered a hand-shake to each and every of the fans who queued for his autograph. Unthinkable for other fandoms…
      And yes, those ladies at the photo collection were a highlight. Who would’ve thought – especially considering the hubbub in the run-up to the con when the con organiser behaved controversially.
      Oh yes, totally forgot to point out my cosplay jumper.
      That whole issue with meeting your OOA continues to flummox me. I mean, first of all – it’s never a ‘meeting’ as such. Because it literally takes all of 30 seconds max. 😂Or whatever time it takes him to initial the piece of paper you are offering him to sign. And then it depends very much on whether you will be sensitive to *his* vibes or whether you are steamrolling over them 😂. As in: He exudes an air of “I am grateful you are here, but I don’t want to be adored by you, so let’s make this as quick as possible” and you can either give him what he wants (and say/do nothing) or you can insist on your own desire and attempt to involve him in interaction. It kind of seems to be an impossible situation that can never really be solved to everyone’s satisfaction…

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      • Maybe he just needs to be “more Mads” and just chill! Lol . It’s one of the things we’re taught in dentistry about dealing with patients…behaviour breeds behaviour!

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        • In German we say “The way you call *into* the forest, is how it echoes *back* from the forest” 😉. And that is true – especially when it comes to sensitive fangirl souls who pick up the vibe from Mr A. I have definitely (re)acted to what I perceive as his reserved (and insecure?) performances every time I have seen him in the flesh…

          Liked by 2 people

          • Maybe he was just as nervous meeting you as in you all as you all were in meeting him. Jane really described her reaction so well. gimlet stare and (wanting)rushing into his arms. I suspect you all wanted to do that. Mads would have been sure come here darling, Richard just hasn’t gotten quite there yet, give him some time.. You got the (ghost) of the rover hand right around your back and you brushed his leather? shirt thingy so that is one step closer. And.. you got to meet him four times in one weekend by my count (I may be off it’s early here) I mean WOW!!!

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            • Mads is definitely used to it – he’s been to cons before, and he came across as a sociable kind of guy. IMO RA missed the boat when he never attended any of the Hobbit cons. He could’ve learnt from his (very relaxed) kiwi friends how to navigate a con – and have fun while doing so.
              Yeah, I can’t complain at all, I had my share of encounters *lol*

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  4. Argh, I can’t even. I’m so emotional right now. Sorry, I know I sound like a teenage girl, but I just relieved everything and it was wonderful and sad and funny and… I miss you and the concrete bunker charm of the venue and the cozy lobby of our hotel and our late night chats in bed.
    Sorry, I’ll see myself out now.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My favorite parts of this post were the ladies who helped you get the badge autographed for Hariclea and also the caring treatment offered by the Starfury staff. My heart went out to you reading about your struggle with the photo shoots. I can totally identify -as it would probably have been brutal anxiety for me had I been in your shoes. OTOH, it made me think about what it was like from RA’s perspective. Complete speculation on my part, but I wonder if he also felt a bit of anxiety/nerves too. After all, hundreds of people have paid for an (albeit brief) encounter one on one with him. There has to be a bit of an adrenaline rush that hits him kind of like when he’s performing live on stage. As in theatre, there’s a palpable energy in the air and that feedback might be intimidating as well as exhilarating . The difference (in my opinion) is that with theatre you have a script you follow whereas, a Con is flying by the seat of your pants, especially on the first go. Hopefully, the next event will be less stressful. Sorry for rambling on so. I really enjoyed reading about the emotions, the encounters …and the pics. P.S. You are NOTHING like that dour faced American Gothic lady. ❤️

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    • I couldn’t agree more, D. The way the photo ladies reacted to my two asides – and particularly to my explanation why I was picking up that badge – was the highlight of the con. They didn’t *have to* react in any way other than to express their sympathies for Hariclea. And that was all that I expected. But they spontaneously went a step further. And I swear I did not prompt them or suggest any special treatment. It was *their* idea. It just goes to show that in general, people are caring and compassionate and GOOD. That is why it was important to me to actually recount this story – to reinforce the belief that the world and humanity are GOOD, not bad.
      Anyway, you are right – ‘anxiety’ is actually the word that describes my own experience with the photos properly. How ironic is that, considering that I am a photographer? LOL!
      You know, you are absolutely right, D. I am convinced that RA also felt this was a challenging situation. I don’t think that it was anxiety – but certainly nerves. After all, such encounters are completely unpredictable, and there is no given script that you can hold on to. You have to react (or more or less refuse to react, which is what happened with him, I think) to a new person every 10 seconds. Definitely a massive challenge to an introvert (if he is one such)…

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  6. NO APOLOGY NEEDED! Can you hear me over there?!!! 😉 You are so not boring! This has been yet another wonderful recount of an amazing weekend. I have devoured each and every post and am sad that your RDC5 reports have come to an end. As one who couldn’t attend, reading of your experiences (and those of Kate and others) is the next best thing to actually being there.

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  7. Your experiences sound like so much fun. Not so much for you, it seems, but we spectators love to hear about what you went through. The next time,(I am sure there will be one, sooner or later) you will be able to engage in witty repartee with RA in the seconds you have while he poses or autographs something. Practice makes perfect.

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    • Hehe, happy to take one for the team. And honestly – I need to just get my act together. It’s rather laughable that a grown woman like myself crumbles into a heap of blabbering idiocy whenever Armitage is near. *head desk* Yeah, that’ll be the challenge – developing my coolness to survive a conversation with my screen idol *haha*. Definitely need a few practice sessions with the OOA for that purpose.

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      • I like to consider myself a mature woman (both in years and behaviour!) but whatever it is about RA, no matter how often I tell myself he’s just a man, there is the instant response from my inner fangirl that he’s not. Whatever magic he exudes, it’s almost impossible to see him as such, he makes me feel too giddy! I think that’s why when he does show his “ordinary man” side, I love him even more for it, because it makes him seem more approachable. Whatever scenario I come up with in my head, none of them are that I would be that “mature woman” if I ever met him, that it would be a cool, calm and collected exchange from my side. That it’s more likely I’d be a babbling idiot/a heap at his feet/speechless worries me. Drinking in the sight of him from afar, watching his interactions with others, the way he moves, his little unguarded moments……..yep, much safer!!!

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        • Giddy is the word, Mezz!!! I mean, it’s a mystery to me why this kind if silly affliction has caught me at this stage of my life! As a teenager I would have scoffed at this sort of behavior. However, I also enjoy the fact that it happens. Perversely. But it makes me feel young and alive feeling this kind of infatuation. Not least because it is something I am bonding over with a lot of new friends. It’s all fun, harmless silly fun. And as you say, it’s particularly cool when he shows some behavior that is relatable. He’s lovely. As are his fans.

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  8. Love the American Gothic, hilarious! Although you are doing yourself a disservice. I know he is a great actor but RA certainly doesn’t look annoyed at his third photo shoot with you [wow, three!] his smile reaches up to his twinkling eyes. But you are so right about the value of appreciating the wonderful moment – of suspending nerves, embarrassment, Armitage protecting – and just relishing it. Also the disparity between how we perceive his experience compared with ours. Watching from afar does have its compensations. And what lovely people to help you and Hariclea. We need reminding sometimes that most people have kindness in them. My volunteer pass was handed in by some good soul, after I lost it, which I’m very grateful for.

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    • IDK, maybe I was too caught up with my own embarrassment and therefore read RA as being peeved at *yet another stupid fan photo*… Or it was that feeling of trying to inconvenience him as little as possible *hehe*. But he is definitely pro enough to put on a smile!
      I think there is something to be said about watching from afar. And usually I am happy enough with it. I don’t feel like having to interact or to speak or to come up close. I think the frenzy of the con got the better of me.
      And yes, there was a palpable air of kindness and shared fun at that con. I don’t think I felt any sort of negativity. It was enjoyable in every way.

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  9. So finally I have had enough time between working to read all your wonderful accounts of your experiences! So great. Wish I’d been there. But I would probably be quite incoherent if I even tried to approach RA.

    I was giggling as you described your American Gothic posing and cringing a bit right along with you. It must have felt like you were on display in the spotlight as the final reshoot blinker while you were waiting.

    Your analysis of the fan girl mind is interesting too. I have no idea how I’d react, but given that I find unscripted social encounters tough (introvert here), adding the adoration and trying to pretend that it was only about his work and not about his person would make it even more difficult. What I’d like most, I think, is just to shake his hand and look him in the eye — even though it might kill me! Mads shaking all the autograph seekers hands was a nice touch.

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    • Yes, it really felt as if I was on display – oh cod, just thinking about it all makes me blush and cringe. That’s probably also why it took me so long to finally write about that whole story.
      I don’t really mind unscripted social encounters. People usually describe me as outgoing and self-assured, a good conversationalist, someone who can draw others out of their shell and put them at ease. All that completely goes out of the window when I am faced with RA. It’s not his fault at all. It’s just that suddenly I am too busy with myself: I want to observe everything closely, there is the pressure to remember every detail. I want to hit the right side of the difference between an attentive fan and a creepy stalker. I certainly want to be judged fairly and benignly – and with all those things going on, my usual chatty, carefree self clams up.
      I’d love to shake his hand, too. Just to actually determine what kind of handshake he has…

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  10. Endlich bin ich dazu gekommen, deinen Bericht zu lesen. Danke dafür. Du hast mich damit gleichzeitig zum schmunzeln gebracht und berührt. Die Herzlichkeit der an der Con Beteiligten ist echt bewegend und ganz sicher nicht selbstverständlich. Umso schöner, dass du uns daran teilhaben lässt.
    Deinen Überlegungen zu den Fotosessions und dem ganzen drumherum stimme ich voll und ganz zu. Auch wenn ich jetzt sage, ich möchte ihn unbedingt mal treffen, weiß ich nicht, ob ich dann nicht doch einen Rückzieher machen würde. (wahrscheinlich schon). Und was ich deinen Ausführungen so entnehmen kann, wird das Ganze ja auch mit Übung nicht besser. Ich glaube, ich bin auch in der Rolle der stillen Beobachterin besser aufgehoben. Das entspricht meiner Persönlichkeit mehr. Und ihm wäre es höchstwahrscheinlich auch lieber so.

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    • Der Knackpunkt kommt mit deinem letzten Satz, Nordlicht. “Ihm wäre es wahrscheinlich lieber so.” Das ist eben genau das mit dem “Vermuten” und “Interpretieren”. Für mich sah RA, trotz all seiner Bemühungen dort seinen Fans etwas für ihr Geld zurückzugeben, etwas unwillig aus. Nein, das klingt zu scharf. Er war nicht unwillig – schließlich war er ja da und hat mitgemacht. Aber ich hatte den Eindruck, dass ihn das alles erstaunt, er es nicht versteht – und auch irgendwie ein bisschen nicht verstehen *will*. Für mich war da immer ein Restverdacht, dass er damit eine Wertung verbindet. Und zwar so, dass er die Fans in ihrem Enthusiasmus nicht niedlich oder erfrischend findet, sondern eher fanatisch und unnormal. Dafür gibt es keinerlei Beweise oder Indizien außer meinem Gefühl – was mich ja übrigens auch oft genug trügt. Ich liege also vermutlich komplett falsch, und er fand das alles (nach Aufwärmphase) toll und die Fans super.
      Am besten ist also, wenn man sich sein eigenes Bild macht. Ich glaube, dass ich zukünftige solcher Veranstaltungen primär nicht wegen RA mitmachen würde, sondern wegen der Leute, mit denen man bei der Gelegenheit gemeinsam sein Fan-Sein zelebrieren kann.

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      • Ein wenig müsste er es zumindest in Ansätzen nachvollziehen können, da es ja sicher Künstler gibt, die er bewundert, auch wenn das wahrscheinlich nicht solche Ausmaße annimmt. Sein Verhalten entspricht (vermutlich) einfach nur seiner Persönlichkeit und die läßt sich nicht einfach so ändern. Wir werden ja sehen, ob es ihn für immer verschreckt hat oder er nun tatsächlich weitere Cons besucht.
        Ich glaube, ich bin in der Sache im APM (😱 da wollte ich nie hin). Normalerweise würde ich sagen, jeder, der Schauspieler, Sänger oder sonstwas wird, weiß doch, was auf ihn zukommt und dass das Interagieren mit Fans dazugehört und man sich dem nicht völlig entziehen kann. Bei ihm denke ich, ihm ist das unangenehm, er braucht seine Privatsphäre, also bewundere ihn aus der Ferne.
        Ja, es sind alles Spekulationen. Aber etwas Wahres wird dran sein, sonst würde er sich ja wie z.B. Mads Mikkelsen verhalten.

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        • Stimmt, da ist ne ganze Menge APM mit dabei. Das kommt natürlich davon, dass man sich viel zu sehr mit ihm auseinandergesetzt hat und einiges weiß – was beispielsweise die Fannibals nicht wussten und ihm dadurch dann auch viel lockerer begegnet sind. (Allerdings auch teilweise enttäuscht worden sind). Aber ich denke dann immer, dass der Mann bald 50 ist – Schonzeit für empfindsame kleine Jungs ist vorbei. Wenn man dabei ist, dann muss man mitmachen, Jungchen. *hehe*

          Liked by 1 person

        • Nordlicht you are not alone in being a silent observer. I would not by myself approach him at SD or in this type of Con setting unless I had back up support and in all honesty some form of liquid courage to loosen my shyness. If we were with a group of fellow fans/friends and together went and experience The Armitage in his full glory (ie play) I think for many of us it would be an illuminating experience and we would overcome that silence and at least get an piccy with him and/or selfie!! One would hope!!!!

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  11. Pingback: Richard Armitage tangentially related | Me + Richard Armitage

  12. I know you like RA, a lot of us do. Ultimately tho, he is a stranger, meaning, we really don’t know him. Still, you are a braver than I am about this sort of thing.

    Also, I am 100% certain if he knew you, he would think you are as amazing, talented and wonderful as I think you are. 💕

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    • He is totally a stranger. Whatever we see of him, is what he *wants* us to see, or what he *allows* us to see. I bet there is a lot there that we have no idea about – and that, I guess, is the mystery that sustains the attraction over such a long time…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hey Girl, tried to answer this morning, but my iPad WordPress App kept crashing. We have observed his skilled acting chops for many years. So yes, I agree, we see what he wants us to see. Still, there are glimpses of character traits he can’t hide. We all reveal ourselves, it is sort of impossible to avoid as a human. haha

        It makes me contemplate (again) how attraction works. Why we find someone attractive as a friend, or as a potential love? (Not how we love our children, family members.)

        Many years ago, while working on a different front of child advocacy, I learned a little about how our brains develop as we are babies and young children. There is a fairly short easy to grasp science article by a doctor from the Baylor College of Medicine that explains this a bit. I will have to find it.

        Anyway, there are cues we all have that we respond to or that reveal our deepest feelings. Those cues can also attract or repel us to people. Not saying they can’t be changed or controlled, especially if we are aware of them.

        Anyway, we cannot always help why we are attracted to someone. I know I’ve fought it and suffered annoyance with myself for many years before reconciling that it is mostly harmless.

        What I do not understood though, (not that anyone here has this issue) is how someone can think they actually have a relationship with a celebrity. That is a behavior I have dealt with repeatedly in the comics industry. That may sound a little vague, but it is off topic. Sorry for the digression.

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        • Attraction is a fascinating subject. I couldn’t agree more, Mimi. And there is just no telling what it is that we feel attracted to. Actually, that is wrong. Of course we can pinpoint what it is that we love about someone else – whether it is visual or emotional. And you are right – even though RA can somewhat control what we see of him, there are those involuntary little signs, the split-second facial expressions, a slight hesitation, a Freudian slip, body language, gestures etc that sometimes give something away that was not intended to be seen. That’s the mystery – and also the fascination. It’s probably also the reason why we love to see him not just in his roles but also in interviews etc, appearing as himself.
          In any case, he keeps us watching. It might be different reasons for each of us – but he’s got *something*.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Yes, and I’ve over analysed it ad nauseam in hopes I could forget about it, long before I ever reached out to you that first time years ago. Obviously, I’ve given up trying to forget about it. Luckily, the hubs has had fun with the whole What a Guy Wants memes and knowingly contributes. His fun with it has made it easier for me to not focus on the attraction part. When hubs brings up seeing a new show and how I will enjoy it. I agree with him saying how easy on the eyes the man is, so of course I’ll enjoy a new show. That usually puts the kibosh on further teasing. Hubs thinks all dudes are ugly & gross, he doesn’t understand how we (women) can find them (men) attractive at all. Still he is grateful we have allowed him privileges. He also finds every blasted icky thing about women blissfully wonderful. Never put off by anything I’m grossed out about myself either. How can we (meaning men/women because I’ve discussed this with male friends too) be so freakin’ opposite?

            I’m sure I’ve said before; I used to listen to the Robin Hood TV episodes while I worked at home on sales reports? That while I recognised RA from Spooks, (Rupert Penry Jones is totally easy on the eyes) it wasn’t until BBC America did a thanksgiving marathon and once again working while listening to the show that at some point I actually started watching it and damn. Well you know.

            And have I mentioned that several of my regular male customers have commented on liking my attempts at humor with WAGW screenshots of a show they too have watched and enjoyed. They don’t understand my focus on the villain of the show for the memes though. (Insert evil laughter here.) Haha

            So yeah, we still love watching/listening to new things RA puts out. I agree that there is something, (be it different reasons for each of us) that has our continued interest.

            Liked by 1 person

  13. Thank you writing your second day experience at the RDC5! Apologies for the late comment >< I love how the other marshalls didn’t even hesitate to give you a third chance for your photo and for getting an autograph for Hariclea! It feels like this is something not a lot of the big cons can do (with big corporations handling them) versus a dedicated fandom that runs a con. I’m so happy you got to experience this kindness. Imhope you get to contact them again!

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    • No worries – comments are welcome any time 🙂
      You are definitely right – this isn’t a major con organiser afaik, and the con itself was probably on the small side. 650 attendants or so. And therefore it was possible to make certain exceptions, I guess. I wouldn’t expect that kind of thing at a larger con. And having experienced this now myself, I would always recommend people who have never been at a con to actually start with a small event first.
      I should really get in touch with them and praise them a bit. But who knows, I don’t really want to get the two photo ladies into trouble… maybe they weren’t supposed to do what they did…

      Liked by 1 person

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