My friend Abby posted a tweet the other day about the lockdown stage where you are in “spouse chews loudly” phase. Touché. Although the lockdown phases in my house also manifest in other ways. Imagine my surprise this morning, for instance, when Mr Guylty suddenly and without any prior introduction starts suggesting things I could create to entertain myself and my fellow fans. That’s the “I haven’t got anything to say, so let’s talk about your celebrity crush instead” phase 😂. Mr Guylty was thinking of adapting classic book titles to suit Richard Armitage – along the lines of Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations turned into “Grate Expectations” (by the famous Dutch author, spelled with two Ks). I, OTOH, was wondering whether I could come up with some “Lost Consonants”. I’m a great fan of Graham Rawle’s series; you can see some of his hilarious word play images on his website.) In the end, I came up with a different concept, which I am pleased to present to your entertainment.
Misheard Movie Quotes
featuring Richard Armitage’s characters
First up, a quote from Richard’s iconic turn as smouldering mill owner John Thornton.
Who could ever resist? The prospect alone of untying that cravat, would make me go into voluntary isolation immediately.
But let’s look at some other, well-loved characters. The sensitive, softly spoken farmer John Standring has been proven to be the perfect lockdown partner. (See In the Bleak Midwinter by khandy for further reference.)
Yep, I bet the trustful agriculteur could easily fall victim to a) stockpiling and b) profiteering by stock pile sellers.
The latter wouldn’t happen to smooth operator John Porter.
Surprisingly sweet, don’t you think?
It feels a bit wrong to make fun of earnest hero John Proctor, but then again, he *did* say this:
Or didn’t he? Well, maybe these movie quotes are getting a bit fishy. I really shouldn’t make him the butt of any jokes.
The Red Dragon, however…
Oh, big time. Fuller really owes *us* some arse there – this pixellation of essential plot was most irritating.
Right. Well, that passed a good 30 minutes this morning… Can you think of any other iconic quotes from Richard’s oeuvre that I could possibly mishear? Leave the (original) quotes in the comments – and I’ll see 👀 what I hear 👂🏻.