OT: A Different Kind of Father’s Day

/ June 25, 2020

Father’s Day is already over. But today is *my* father’s day. His 6th anniversary. I have never really liked the convention of remembering loved ones by the date of their death. It’s as if their defining feature was their passing – instead of their life. But I admit, it is a handy occasion to remember them. I usually remember my grandparents and father in private, but I have very much enjoyed reading my friends’ memorial posts for their fathers. Herba recently remembered her late father with a sad and touching post, so I delved into the oldest of my external hard drives and went down memory lane this morning. It is still more bitter than sweet, but overall I feel it is good to remember. And following Esther’s example – I really loved seeing all the photos of her father that Esther posted on the occasion of the last father’s day – I put together a few pictures of my papa.

I will never not miss you, Papa!

The ginkgo tree is in full leaf at the moment. It looks strong and healthy. I am glad that we have the tree to go to when we are in Germany, as a place to remember my dad at. Whenever I am there, I also think of you, my friends, who so kindly contributed to the tree – in the sense that you donated a wonderful sum of money to the local history society that my dad was very passionate about and which honoured my dad by planting this tree. Here’s to all our fathers!

 

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37 thoughts on “OT: A Different Kind of Father’s Day”

  1. Sending you warmest hugs, my friend.

    What a wonderful way to commemorate your dad. I love all the pictures, especially the first one with the two of you. I totally see the resemblance. And whenever I see a ginko tree (our neighbors down the street have one), I think of both you and your dad, even though that happened way before my time. ❤

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  2. This is beautiful, thank you so much for sharing! I see a resemblance there as well. 🙂 It’s always a beautiful thing to remember the life and the love. Love the tree too! (((Hugs)))

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  4. Ah, the dreaded death anniversary. I’m tearing up over here, thinking about how blessed you and I have both been to have had such decent, loving men as fathers. It’s impossible not to think about mine every day. So many times, I’ve “heard” his advice in my head, the things he used to say, the moral principles he modeled with his actions, how much he loved my mother and us…it’s a gaping hole in my heart, you know?

    Thank you for sharing a bit of your Papa with us through those lovely photographs. I’m sending you a hug.

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    • That is the consolation, isn’t it, to know beyond the grief that we were lucky to have them. Very lucky indeed. I understand what you mean – gaping hole in your heart. Hugs back to you!

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    • I am kicking myself that I didn’t take more pictures of my dad (or the family as a whole). All my photos are devoid of people… Ah well, it makes the few pictures I have even more precious 🙂

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  7. Thank you for sharing those happy photos. He looks like a fun and loving dad. His tree is beautiful and such a wonderful way to honor him. Did you get your sense of humor from him?

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    • Yep, I think my dad and I had a similar sense of humour. We also shared a lot of interests – in language and history, and in collecting stuff… It’s nice to know that some of my interests kind of come from him…

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  8. Thanks for sharing your lovely photo’s of your dad. I lost mine when I was 21 – he was just 52. Although he’s been gone now for many years – I still think about him often and treasure the memories. He’ll always be my dad.

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    • That is far too young for a dad to die. So sorry to hear that, Christine. And yes, they always remain our dads, even though they are not available to speak with and look at anymore…

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  12. Death dates can be hard on the loved ones left behind. It is a beautiful way to remember a loved one than by a tree. I really should do this as my dad spent his life working with wood, he made handles, wooden spoons, baseball bats and other things from wood by hand (no machines at all) since he was 9 till the age of almost 84 ( his Parkinson made it impossible to use a knife anymore). Both my parents would die on the same day, but 10 years apart and almost to the same hour. The summer of 2013 he was so sick and going fast but by fall time I figured he was waiting to go on the same day as my mom, as he kept asking me where my mom was. That morning nursing staff came in and he was awake they told him “good morning” and he answered back, when they came back in a half an hour later he had passed. The day after Father’s Day would have been my dad’s 97th birthday. With that said we where not close but the big age gap I think was part of that.

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    • What a remarkable story re. your parents’ death dates. It’s stories like these that make me wonder whether there is more to it than mere coincidence.
      Planting a tree is definitely a wonderful way of remembering a loved one. It is such a forward-thinking thing to do, as the tree will long be there after we are gone.

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      • Sorry to go slightly OT, but weren‘t we gonna plant trees/shrubs to offset our #FlatRichie carbon footprint? Should we revive that idea? I personally would love to plant an actual tree in my yard, but for those who can‘t, maybe a small donation to a tree planting charity? Or we could pick that as the birthday auction charity… Just thinking out loud here.

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  13. Oh, what lovely photos! Thank you for sharing some of these precious memories of your dad with us. He looks like such a warm person 🙂 I can’t believe how time flies, the tree is so big and strong.. and it’s so lovely to have it and see it grow. I understand how loss is never less, in spite of time, but i am glad you decided to share these memories and thank you very much. It’s lovely to hear more about him and i am sure it is nice for the kids too to remember him and have a chance to talk about him. Many hugs xx

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  14. Such beautiful photos, Guylty. Thanks so much for sharing. They must bring back memories of those happy times, and to have that magnificent tree to visit must be a comfort too.

    You’ve made me pause and remember my own happy times. Dads are ace when you’re blessed with a good one. I miss mine loads as well, but Violet as says, I feel lucky to have had him. Big hugs to you and all who are missing theirs.

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    • You know, what you wrote ” Dads are ace when you’re blessed with a good one” was at the back of my mind when I wrote the post. I was kind of conscious how lucky I have been to have such a wonderful father. And I am quite aware that many people have had monsters of fathers. But yes, it felt good to think of him and remember him in this way 🙂

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  15. Lovely photos! How quickly the time has gone, I remember when that beautiful tree was planted in your dad’s memory, he will always be with you ((hugs))

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  16. I am so sorry to respond so late to this!
    I read your lovely post and looked at the pics of your dad on thursday when you published it but couldn’t comment because of spotty internet and than totally forgot 😦

    As you know I know a bit about how you feel…please feel hugged from afar ❤

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