Do you remember the good old days of AD 2014 when the last part of Peter Jackson’s epic trilogy “The Majestic King” (better known by the wider public under the misleading misnomer TH) was still before us and we amused ourselves in the run-up to the final premiere with some creative rhyming? Not that the “Summer of Love” was a lull – far from it. Daily updates of the latest trends in men’s fashion were transmitted from the SD of the Old Vic, and RA’s cleansing performance as John “Shirtless” Proctor (he does wash his armpits, you know) seemed to inspire a whole slurry-pit of creativity.
So let’s return to the old Fans Wax Lyrical series for a moment while I present you with the latest poetic outpouring, caught in the comment thread to Servetus’ refreshing appeal “Time to ogle the Armitage“. Since not everyone bothers with all the comments, I present you with a gem of rare beauty, courtesy of Ms Kathy Jones, poetess extraordinaire.
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A snooze later, and Kathy has taken up the gauntlet thrown by moi in the comments, and added another ode to her oeuvre, prompted by my choice of a fantastic picture by Heathra:
And this, in turn, has prompted further poetically inclined readers to add their rhyming prowess to the talent pool. Look at Teuchter, eulogising the beard:
And to top it all of, CraMERRY leaves her native language behind and expresses her woes of fangirling in rhyming form:
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Edit N° 2, 21/01/2015, 10:49pm: The fun has continued all afternoon, and five further lyrical expressions of general Armitage admiration have been submitted. I present to you…
Part 3 of Kathy’s ode oeuvre – she’s getting closer and closer. And she’s changed perspective:
Next up is Glady who is not ogling *him*, no, she’s merely ogling a poster. Or so she tells herself…
Our quilting queen Jholland has also a strong reputation as a limerick-slinging lyricist. She points out, that there is more to sing praises of than just the bod…
Nellindreams grabs the chance – in lieu of grabbing other things…
And finally, (for now?) JennyS puts music back into the ode. Now which melody goes with this:
If this continues, we will have a whole poetry anthology on our hands, soon! Just imagine – a book load of lyrical praise. I bet there aren’t that many actors whose praises have been sung in rhyme (and without reason)…
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Edit N° 3, 22/01/2015, 4:31pm: And yet another update. 😀 No complaints here from my side – I love it, and judging by the response on Twitter, I am not alone in liking it…
Here’s another ode by Glady – to RA taking selfies
This is fun, ladies. Keep ’em coming!
And as someone once famously said: “Ogle and let ogle.”
Remember: INHIARE HUMANUM EST*. Maybe we should engrave that on the Armitage Army coat of hairy arms.
*To ogle is to be human.
I DID see this before, but ROFL! Thank you for the “refresher”… Kathy Jones is brilliant!
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Yeah, I just had to widen the audience and rescue the poetry from obscurity in the comment section. Plus, I like to have gems like this handy 😉
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I had actually planned to repost it in its own post this morning, but it was kind of you to do so. I wouldn’t have done it with pictures.
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Oh, Serv, I am sorry – it was selfish of me to nick the ode and post it here. I should’ve thought about you possibly reposting it, or asked you. I am sorry!
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Well, great beauty deserves great poetry. But you’ll just have to put up with mine. You know how to brighten up a dreary Wednesday. 🙂
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No but there. In fact – no butt there, either. Where’s the bum? And where is the bum poetry?
There, if that isn’t another gauntlet 😉 *Guylty pushing her luck*
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Hmmm, I don’t keep any of my “masterpieces”. I can’t remember if the bum was ever immortalized in verse. I need a photo for inspiration.
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No problem. I am quite taken with this visual masterpiece by heathra – https://meandrichard.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/ccrichardheathra-43.jpg
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Wow! OK, that was quite inspirational. I will try to do his bum justice, Quite impossible, but I will do my best. Might take a few minutes.
.
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Ode to a Beautiful Bottom
Cheeks so fair, RA’s got’em.
A thing of beauty, is his bottom.
It has become extremely clear,
That he is stunning from the rear.
Lovely face and derriere,
Such allure cannot be fair.
Clingy pants are a girl’s best friend,
Showing off a tight rear end..
His mighty bum ripples when he struts,
Always gorgeous, no ifs, ands or butts.
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Brava!!
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never has a fairer bottom been more fairly praised 🙂 xx 🙂
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I’m not sure what it says about me that I *knew* what pic this was before it opened.
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LOL – it says you know me well 😀 But then again, it’s a fandom favourite, made even sweeter by the fact that it was shot by a fellow appreciater…
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yassssssssssssssssss. I’m a proud ogle-er. If he’s going to show it off… well don’t mind if I do!
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Judging by your frequent posts under the “beefcake” heading, you have already progressed to “advanced ogling”, Zee.
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Doesn’t Zee have her PhD in ogling, and working on her post-doc now?
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I think she has in fact been designated as chair of the Department of Oglology at the U of RA.
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I’m very good at it, that’s for sure!
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Good work all around.
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To be added to 😉
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I am howling with laughter to the point I peed. Bravo, Ms. Kathy!
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*giggles* I should’ve put a disclaimer in the title, or some sort of warning. “This post might cause you to pee in your pants. The blog owner does not accept any responsibility for ruined lingerie. Your statutory rights are not affected.”
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Wow, poetry slam at it’s chest, sorry best 😊
Inhiare humanum est 😂 The wisdom of the old Romans…… So true…..
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Well, the old Romans were quite a saucy bunch. They really knew where it was at…
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You girls are absolutely killing me here. My sides are sore from laughing so hard!! 😀
My “poetry” is very tame in comparison and I wrote it years ago when we saw his “Hobbit” beard. Forgive me if I share it again but I loved his “Crucible” beard too. Apologies to Robert Burns of course, especially as his birthday will be celebrated on January 25th!! 😦
Ode to a Beard,
See yon brown beard that grows so fine,
Could we but with our hands entwine
Those silken strands.
Alas for us ’tis but a dream,
There’s lands and oceans in between,
But hope still stands!
Ogle on ladies, ogle on!!!
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Love it, love it, Teuchter. That will make its way into the post – I have to edit it, now that you and Kathy have added new poetic submissions.
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Beautiful. It is not tame, but refined. 🙂
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Thanks Kathy! I admit my attempt is nothing like as much fun as you and all the others have come up with. *standing ovation* for all of you! 😉
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You ladies have made my morning 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Every day should start with a laugh, shouldn’t it? Maybe we could hire Kathy and/or any other poetic comedians to grace us with the “Ode of the Day” 😉
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Yes please an Ode a Day sounds wonderful.
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Hehe, as a collective, we might be able to pull that off…
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I don’t know how I can explain,
but when I see him I feel pain.
The legs, the arms, the bum, the chest,
I can’t decide, what is the best.
The eyes, the nose, the lips, the hair,
All in one man this is NOT fair.
Even his neck is worth a drool,
Sometimes I’m feeling like a fool.
But this is what we’re fangirls for,
it’s only fun and nothing more! 😀
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Bravo, bravo! that is a fabulous ode to fangirling. Is this your first English work of poetry? Loving it – I fear, I will have to do plenty of updating of this post 😍
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Yes, my first one in english. Spend my time this morning while sitting in my car to go to work.
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Best way to spend a boring car ride. Did you have to recite the poem to yourself over and over again in order to keep it in mind for later writing-down?
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Exactly! 😂😂😂
Thought about using my mobile (Diktierfunktion), but failed 😀
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Siri failed? *tuttuttut* I have been using her lately for writing e-mails and text messages without touching the touchpad. Just hold the button for 2 seconds to get Siri started, then command her “write a note” and follow the instructions.
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Very impressive. I could never write a poem ( or much else) in another language.
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Before Armitage it wasn’t my intention either 😂 But it’s easier doing it in another language. In german it would be far too much embarrassing. 😁
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Yeah, German doesn’t really lend itself to swooning odes. Or maybe we are just emotionally too close to that language 😉
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Sehr frei nach J.W.Goethe:
….Ogle, ogle manche Strecke,
dass zum Zwecke Hirnschmalz fließe,
und mit reichem, vollem Schwalle,
zu der Dichtkunst sich ergieße…..
q.e.d.
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Excellent one and all! Thanks for the laughs! 🙂
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All credit to the talented poets. 🙂
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Noble efforts all! I am quite taken with the “Ode to a Beard”!
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Very noble ogle odes, indeed. The talent in the fandom is fabulous. (as is the beard)
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I am overwhelmed by the artistic effect of ogling 🙂 My first attempt – and the only one so far- with some poetic flavor is the fanvid I made for my first Christmas in the fandom. There was a discussion if he will send a Christmas message or not and I was very happy because it was the first message for “me”, so I made this vid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbzjDIRwCtA
Now you challenged me with this post, so here’s my contribution inspired be The Crucible poster, the one I use for my “altars” 🙂
Ode to a Poster
The picture’s there, as it should be,
I look at him, he doesn’t look at me.
What are you? my mind is crying,
you’re nothing to me, yet everything you are,
a temptation, that I couldn’t resist so far.
My finger follows the line of your lips,
I touch your hair and I touch your face,
the glass is cold, yet what I feel
is the warmth of your skin.
I cannot run away, and even if I do
I come back always to ogle you.
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Beautiful.It makes me want to make out with my Thorin poster.
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I think I’ll have to frame at least one of my posters. That way they are protected from my “grabby hands” and – dare I say – drool?
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I cheated, mine is not framed and has a special place in my wardrobe, so it’s not protected at all 🙂
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WOW! a compliment from the master !!! Thanks for starting all this, I have a lot of fun 🙂
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Gorgeous – and oh-so-true… I’ll updated the post asap, Glady, I want to keep these odes handy and ready for posterity.
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How in the world did I only seen this video now? It’s just lovely. I too love his messages and always feel he sent it to me personally – even though I know it is for everyone! Silly old me!!
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lovely ode!!! need to get framing 🙂 and thanks for the lovely video, what a nice way to have the messages together 🙂
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May as well throw my hat in the ring =)
Of odes to Himself, the oft-ogled King!
His torso, his pecs
His beard and his neck
Plus his bum… these praises we sing.
For each of these hallmarks we gladly rejoice
Our ovaries, of course, have simply no choice!
Now may I draw attention
For it deserves at least one mention
That alluringly deep and ear-tingling voice!?
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Nice list of beautiful body parts. And the Voice to top it off. Ovaries don’t stand a chance. 🙂
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*claps hands* I was hoping you would, J!!! Great addition to the whole lot. To be updated soon!
(I love how creative everyone is today :-D)
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Here is one more. It demanded to be included with all its friends.
Ode to Zippers.
My hands clench, my fingers itch.
I find myself so close to Rich.
My smile is dreamy,
He does not see me,
Towards him I slowly inch.
Oh what precious treasures lie,
Beneath the zippers that I spy.
Do I dare to risk a pinch?
Just a touch, nothing much,
My thoughts are full of purity.
As I draw near, about to clutch,
I am foiled, here comes security.
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ROFL – wonderful – an ode, written from the perspective of a zipper. That is inspired. Thanks for sharing all these with us, Kathy, you really have kicked off an avalanche! xx
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You are too kind. Glad we are buried in an avalanche of creativity and fun. I am slightly buzzed from cough medicine. That must explain my sudden burst of silly poetry.
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*grins* It’s great that we all have a reason to blame our irrational love for RA – and rhyming – on 😉
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I take it you meant the two in the “rear view” pick?? 😉
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yes, I was sneaking up from behind, to grab his zippered behind. Good catch. He cannot not see my demented dreamy smile as I slowly approach his lovely posterior. My inspiration was Guylty’s fan ficlets. and the fantasy RA. encounters she brought to life.
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front or back – either zippered items are rather squeezable…
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Why am I not surprised you went there? Zippers, front or back, are the last defense against squeezing. But they wouldn’t stop me if I was properly motivated. And drunk.
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Hehe. Well, zippers are made for opening as much as for closing 😉
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Why didn’t I think of that?. In my mind, I never got close enough to open any of his zippers. I was tackled by a overzealous security guard. I told him a journalist friend had arranged a date for me, but he didn’t buy it and escorted me away from any of RA’s zippers.
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Now, there is new job description. After “scarf fluffer”, RA might also be in need of a “zip closer”. I bet there will be volunteers.
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May I join the poetry slam? You’re all so inspiring!!!
“If ogling be my only chance
I’ll have it straight,
no circumstance!
That man deserves the highest praise!
There’s no one better
in this place!
Thus I shall study from afar
each single move
of our star…”
Fangirl mode off, leaving this attempt right here… Not daring to look at it a second time…
😜
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Welcome to the club! 😀
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Good job. The collection is growing to be quite impressive.
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Whoa – work has kept me busy, and what do I get when I come back? More goodies here. Brilliant stuff, eh? And you started it! I blame you 😀
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Don’t blame me. Your readers boldly went where no poet has gone before. They are amazing. 🙂
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Ok, we are *all* to blame 😉
But this thread is an example why blogging can be such fun – when it becomes a really interactive thing.
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I agree. We are interacting and being wordy as hell. I am so impressed by us all. Who knew RA could inspire such an outpouring of literary lunacy?
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Nothing’s impossible when it comes to the powers of the mighty RA *lol*
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Yes, yes, yes, please join the slam and make it a grand one 😉
Lovely – and surely you can look at it again, it is sweet and funny, just the way we like it. Thanks x
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Thanks. 😉
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All these are inspired. Great stuff, so many talented ladies!
And now I bring you a little musical interlude:
Six foot two, eyes of blue
Those lashes make us fangirls coo
Has anybody seen our guy?
Distinguished nose, casual clothes
Year by year his magic grows
Has anybody seen our guy?
If you run into six foot two
In Leeds or Berlin
On the Underground in London town,
You never know, it could be him
Do we drool? You bet we do
We defy you not to, too
Has anybody seen our guy?
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Love the lyrics.
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Fabulous, Jenny – what’s the melody these great lyrical lyrics go with?
Do we drool – you bet we do LOL
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Guylty, Here’s the melody and original words. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqYJjA4aYXM
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LOL – just listened to it. Great music. Thanks, Tommie!
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Thanks too from me for finding the music, snowyjo. Mea culpa, I should have given a link, but it was late by then and I was flagging.
You could do a nice Charleston while singing it.
Boop-boop-a-doo!
And thanks for my lovely photo edit, Guylty!
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You’re welcome – every ode needs a suitable background. 🙂
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wow, these poems make my day! Great work! RA inspires his fandom even if he´s not at the cinema 🙂
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Hehe, maybe he inspires his fandom *because* he’s not in the cinema? After all, in the absence of fresh material, what else can we do but entertain ourselves. I’m sure Uncle RA approves 😉
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Starting the CyberOgle Foundation to support unrestrained RAddiction causing constant poetic gush? 😜
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Go ahead, I’ll be an early adopter and back you 😀
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😉Thanks for your lovely edits! You chose perfectly: it’s my current home screen… 😊
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Since I feel inspired, here’s another try:
Ode to RA taking Selfies
A moment, a click, it’s nothing for you,
we’ll share it on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook, too.
You can post it on Weibo, we really don’t care,
as long as you give us a picture to stare.
We’ll analyze the context, the background, your smile,
your beard, your hair and the light in your eye.
A moment, a click, it’s fun most of all,
So, Rich, press that button as a gift for us. LOL!
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*giggles* that’s really sweet. I really love that because the reference to analysing the pics in all details really rings very true to me 😀
To be updated into post, soon!
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Thanks for the edit -Thorin’s selfie – a treat!
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hehe, I had forgotten that existed – and was thrilled when I found it again. Fits the selfie game, too 🙂
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True.Selfies are analyzed to the max, and back.
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how lovely this all!!! such great inspiration and outpouring of fun and creativity 🙂 sorry to be late but it;s not an underestimation to say i was up to my armpits in inspirational material too! 😀 reduces somewhat the fun when you squeeze them and brighten them and hassle the printer but the hours i’ve spend eyes deep in his photo… mmmmmm…. 🙂 choosing is hardship! on that note i need an ode to his lips!!!
If there are no takers i might just have to rack my brains myself 😉
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Well, that sounds great, actually. I really look forward to seeing what this round of the swap will throw up. I ffinished my piece on Saturday, so now I only need to get it ready for send off.
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oh, better not get too excited! 😉 i’m better at some stuff that i thought i would be but under current time constraints i should have started in December so i could redo some stuff, I just learned not all glue is the same! Mine needs at least 4-5 more evenings and i’ll be out Wed, Thur, Fri and Sunday! 😱 But i am still enjoying it despite the trials and errors.. i just may never do another one LOL But i now totally get how crafting enhances the imagination and even admiration for the subject
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