No doubt you remember the wonderful portable shrine that was gifted to me recently. Well, let’s just say it’s seen a lot of use lately. It has one major drawback, though. While it is portable – after all it is “The Original Portable Shrine” – it is only so if one were in the habit of carrying a handy trunk with oneself at any one time. Hmph. A deliberate design-fault , intended to curb the recipient’s on-the-go drooling needs? The challenge was raised, the gauntlet was flung – and in the Guylty household, there is only one who can answer with ingenuity and aplomb. The self-styled Queen of Crafts. Vainglorious Moi.
The product of many nights of head-scratching, feverish labour by the sweat of my brow is a prototype that has recently seen the light of day. I present the “Original Pocket Shrine”® – for discreet drooling, wherever you are, whenever you want.
The compact Pocket Shrine® measures 6×4.5 centimetres (2.4×1.8″) in size and comes in durable, light-weight tinplate. The discreet external of the Pocket Shrine® is enhanced with a diamond-studded, character-appropriate design that is classy yet unobtrusive.
The Pocket Shrine® opens up to a 3D-diorama depicting an iconic scene from the drool-deity’s cinematographic oeuvre. Hand-cut details are embellished with crystal highlights. A silver-leaf garland adds the appropriate gravitas and lavishes attention on the laurel-worthy assets of the admired subject. A disco ball is optional.
The protruding lower shelf of the Pocket Shrine® features a visual drooling aid – usually a favourite close-up of the worshipped divinity – bedecked in appropriate adornments in a custom colour scheme.
The Pocket Shrine® comes with two silver-coloured candle holders. These insert in the assigned openings in the bottom shelf. Matching silver candles can be fixed in the holders, allowing for sacrificial and meditative kindling of candle light. When not in use, the candles and holders can be stored inside the Pocket Shrine®.
The Pocket Shrine® is fully customizable according to the client’s individual worshipping needs. It comes in two sizes (“discreet” and “not quite as discreet”) and is uniquely hand-crafted with exclusive gems and embellishments from sustainable sources. Assembling and use of the Pocket Shrine® are intuitive and easy. The Pocket Shrine® fits into any trouser pocket, as well as standard hand-bags and clutches.
Also available with custom gift-wrap, this product is calorie-free, guilt-proof, and no animals have been harmed in the making of it. (However, Guylty Productions can not take any responsibility for accidental loss of ovary function.)
On the occasion of the world-wide launch of the Pocket Shrine®, Guylty Productions offers one lucky reader the rare opportunity to receive a custom-made, one-of-a-kind Pocket Shrine®. Please lavish your praise in the comment section below and remember to mention your desired chaRActer. If no chaRActer is mentioned, the Pocket Shrine® will be designed to the worship of the cReAtor. Winners will exclusively not be chosen by R___ A___ but with the help of a random number generator. Comments close on Friday, 21st of February 2014.